Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML
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Top comments
SexyHindu 2
What the hell does he put in his salad?
ShakeMeDown 12
Eyes.
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Comments (212)
HomeAl0ne 20
Move over Mills and Boon, I think we have discovered a new genre - the medical romance novel. "Your eyes are the colour of freshly extracted gallstones" he exclaimed. "Your hair is smooth and brown like my shit the morning after I've drunk a lot of whiskey, and your teeth are shiny and white like the head of my pimples."
ShyAnn29 15
Oh, how romantic!!! I'm being sarcastic, lol
lemon_phat 11
The last part is ******* gross..
natashax21 5
Oh really 60, I couldnt tell. And just for you, ...... P.S: I'm being sarcastic.
ShyAnn29 15
Thanks for your help 153, I never would have guessed, I said I was being sarcastic because some people can't tell when people are using sarcasm.
Chrissy44 0
You are genius! Love it! Lol!
VUStudent 0
How sweet... :/ It's funny he can remember the color of his crap, but not your eyes.
Savra_fml 17
Read the FML Miss Student! Or is reading not a requirement in the special school you are attending? Sweet.
twofirstnames 12
Such a sweet compliment, it's the thought that counts!
Joey44 15
Why do people tell each other these things? Even if that is the - very weird - way he remembers your eye colour, why the hell would he say this to you? There is no way on earth it could have just come out in a conversation. He must have just decided to announce it. Did he think you'd find it cute or something???
wishfulmidget 0
exactly what i dont understand! so many fmls are like this...
1JDub 6
AWE...talk about a Hallmark moment....so sweet
Daralea 21
Does he stare deeply into your eyes while telling you he loves you....and then burst out in giggles?
lindsaymarie225 0
Ahhh yeah, not good!
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Lmao that's shitty . Literally .
bubo_fml 11
Why did he HAVE to admit it? Were you interrogating him Abu-Grave style? "My eyes! My eyes! What color are my eyes, Bitch?!"
mrosew442 10
you have succeeded in literally making me lol. kudos to you my kind sir!
pondermuse 5
Did you give him a hard shitty look after he told you this?