Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML
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Top comments
SexyHindu 2
What the hell does he put in his salad?
ShakeMeDown 12
Eyes.
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Comments (212)
DustyStorm 16
What a charmer..... Are they brown or green?
Iffyy 6
Blue.
mileyfan17 8
Maybe he is kidding XD
beautyswan 1
Isn't that pleasant
WeirdSauce 7
It's a guy thing, it means he loves you.
mrosew442 10
is there corn in the salad?
sierralovesyou 0
Sexy... Gets you in the mood, doesn't it?
EngagedToSatan 5
Thats nasty. Enough said.
woww2011 3
what color is that?
marryjaneex0 7
haha i think its funny
MisterEx 28
Next time he says that tell him every time you look at your poop you remember his performance in bed.