You should start playing weird cult music or pig noises when they do. Like if you’re gonna take out the trash, turn it on so it’ll kill the mood until you’re back in so you don’t have to witness that! At least they wait until you leave though. But they should be more mindful of when you’re going to come right back in so you don’t get an eyefull

"Jeez Dad, get a room..." "Get a room? I've got the whole fucking house, you little shit! Now go see a movie while I work on making you a new sibling."

Maybe you should withhold your rent payment to protest the nuisance. Wait, you're staying rent-free? Then, shut the fuck up and buy some orgasm-canceling headphones.

Don’t worry. You’ll have that in your life one day and understand. And after the wedding, sex slows down for some.

That’s awesome for your dad! Sucks for you but I’m glad he has found someone who gets him “excited”

Good news is your going to be a big sibling soon.