Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Iamskynet 18
what a piece of crap he is
AviKerensky 17
Some people just have no class. Sorry, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
lithiumassassin 10
I mean they can't really say shit if a client does it. If this was the same person who told the Holocaust joke I can understand but as an employee, if you say the wrong thing you can lose business.
pixierara 28
Doesn't mean you have to laugh at it however.
Sparx1_1 16
If the client is worth enough money to the company, you laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. Sales requires a lot of tolerance even for things you would not tolerate otherwise.
PhoenixChick 26
Sounds like your boss has a split between what he thinks is professional, and how he personally is. Laughing at a joke was a severe loss of control of his professional exterior, but I guess that's the privilege of being the boss.
Brandon1000 10
That boss of yours has poor social skills, Anne Frankly deserves to be written up himself.
infectedsense 15
OH MY GOD
slavka012 11
You suck at this
Speedy1979 13
Your boss sucks
wow2mylife 25
It all about looking good for the business in front of clints more than workers
jimeple 12
Yeah but it's still a load and of crap to behave that way.
wow2mylife 25
super correct
jimeple 12
I just loath a hypocrite.
GrumpyGrinch 23
The difference being you said and client said. He was a doormat for the rude client.
Lily_Rain77 25
Do as I say not as I do. He Is the boss, and his bad behavior does not excuse yours.
cantfixme36 28
Don't you know that bosses get to do whatever the hell they want with no consequence, but that employees need to walk on eggshells?
GeeThatSucks 9
fart in his office. you could call it a.... gas chamber... Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!