Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
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Top comments
AkeemKN 1
kill him.
WeirdUp 0
looked in the mirror LIKE A BOSS!!!!!
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Comments (136)
perdix 31
Who would think they'd put mirrors in bathrooms? Oh . . . With your level of intelligence, I don't think you will be hard to replace.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
you should have told him that you and your imaginary friend, Steve, got into a heated argument over the way your boss has been treating you lately and when Steve threatened to kill your boss you felt you had no recourse but to kill Steve first. yeah...THAT'S less embarrassing
heyheywaddup 7
u get fired??
30STMluvva 0
BAHAHA... YDI!!!
jabba_bear27 5
like really dude? were you new to the bathroom? cuz most bathrooms I've seen have mirrors....juuuust sayin.
Stixx55 2
way a dick
Fallout3widow 0
Did you die?
Illyriel 0
If he did, he's obviously got some sort of amazing system set up to post his FML after the fact. Oh... You weren't being literal. I see how it is.
june1903 7
All I can say is...you're a dumbass.
Peasanthunter_fml 0
You are a dumbass. That is all.
macskapingvin 0
"Today, one of my employees was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, I turned my back on him, and he gave me the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing me with a knife. I was looking in the mirror and saw everything. I'm just doing my job and even my employees abuse me. FML"