Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

Unnerved

Today, I was talking to my boss at the end of an awesome internship. He said he was really satisfied with my work, and that he had considered hiring me. Turns out he decided not to because I smile too much, and it freaks him out. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML