Work: Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a... - FML

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 34 718

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Same thing different taste

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 595

You deserved it 4 737

By not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 634

You deserved it 5 808

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 402

You deserved it 2 343

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 7 102

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 012

You deserved it 5 391

DELETE! DELETE!

By Mandi - 05/12/2022 16:00

Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 880

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 901

You deserved it 7 823

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 018

You deserved it 13 395

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 852

You deserved it 11 376

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 602

You deserved it 2 532

Next

Top comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:14

"You need a new job, you need a new job."

twifan1901 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:13

Why would you do that?

Comments

perdix 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:18

Is that a Rebecca Black song?

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:35

"Friday, Friday. Gotta take dumps on Friday."

kriz_allizwell 6

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:48

"which seat should i take?" duh, toilet seat. Then, when youre finished, baby, electric chair.kthxbai.

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:04

I would've went with "Which stall should I taaake?"

SignUpisntcool 3

Friday 27 April 2012 2:42

I sang it as the song I'm on a boat.

kellandj2019 7

Friday 27 April 2012 14:22

Very good I will probably have that stuck in my head for a while now! :)

ilikeapplejuice 7

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:19

Hey when you gotta go, you gotta go. Just next time keep the singing to a minimum

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:20

Way to preempt your boss "Don't give me any of that shit" "I'm not taking any shit from you" Now he knows you have none to give or for him to take.

perdix 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:24

And he won't be saying, "I'm gonna stick my foot so far up your ass . . ."

Scands_59 14

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:26

That's a funny song :)

BunBunBabe 8

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:27

Surely it's not the WORST thing to have your boss overhear. But I wonder to what tune you sang this

perdix 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:33

On the days your bowels are a bit looser, make sure you have this one in your repertoire: Some people think it's funny But it's really hot and runny Diarrhea, Diarrhea . . . Everybody!

perdix 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:57

Green? Green?!?! Did you go to Vegan sleep-away camp? There are dozens, nay rather, hundreds of verses to this humorous ditty. Your boss could potentially be entertained for years!

challan 19

Thursday 26 April 2012 16:36

Thanks, guess what songs stuck in my head now?!!! Lol When you're running from police, And you feel that anal grease...

therealslim 15

Thursday 26 April 2012 18:10

It comes from your bum like a bullet from a gun, diarrea

drdraaman 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 22:33

When you're sliding into third, And you feel a juicy turd, Diarrhea, Diarrhea! When you're walking down the street, And brown comes splashing to your feet, Diarrhea, Diarrhea! When you're-...I think you get the picture.

xoashley223xo 2

Friday 27 April 2012 4:39

When your climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, diarrhea

eirianna 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:42

Tell your boss they should make up songs about what they are about to do. It really does make life more enjoyable lol.

itsalanis 24

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:42

Lol OP, what made you think the workplace was the right place to say that?

Steve95401 49

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:44

It has a catchy beat and you can dance to it. I give it an 85, Dick.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Thursday 26 April 2012 15:49

They're just jealous they can't come up with such great toe-tappin' beats. Obviously trying to cash in on OP's talent.

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