Work: Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired...

By unemployed - 21/05/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 767

You deserved it 77 784

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Listen up

By disturbedgd - 14/09/2016 11:29 - South Africa

Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 015

You deserved it 1 893

Asshat walking

By Bad employee - 28/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 155

By Username - 18/02/2011 09:33

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 018

You deserved it 44 916

Whiner!

By mrjude - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 186

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 205

By jacks_smirking_revenge - 06/03/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 676

You deserved it 52 376

By anonymous - 29/03/2012 15:42 - United States - Houston

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 870

You deserved it 2 233

By raquelcita - 26/08/2016 06:05 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 1 025

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:39 - New Zealand

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 561

You deserved it 50 912

By Sarah - 21/02/2016 00:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss mistakenly drunk texted me and was talking shit about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 797

You deserved it 1 730

SomeGuy1234 0

Friday 22 May 2009 2:03

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable, professional and level headed response.

raged_fml 0

Friday 22 May 2009 2:02

nice one ace

Comments

PredyJessica 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 4:10

XD sorry to hear that!! XD

writerajere 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 4:44

F@#$ that, I hate people on blue-tooths!!!

Vinya_777 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 5:00

there are times that almost happened to me. they move a lot so i can see that big piece of shit stuck to their ear.

chippa 24

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:29

I hate when people use those ******* things.

gibsonguy17 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 3:08

This is one of the reasons you should hate headsets

love4all4 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 2:43

Better find a new job. P.S. If i were you i would never mention that again

bigraws23 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 2:00

If I need rmto get fired I'll talk to you

JustStayHome 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 4:26

Real smooth, reeeeaaal smooth. Just hope her husband didn't have her on speaker or anything. :)

laxgirl3 0

Monday 29 March 2010 17:04

That was a perfectly reasonable, mature and level headed response, I see nothing wrong with it. Way to keep you're cool, smart one.

HunterAlpha1 8

Monday 28 June 2010 14:42

ah, technology...

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The Top

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 19 265

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 553

You deserved it 4 757

The Top

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 407

You deserved it 13 808

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 627

You deserved it 4 359

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 177

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 070

You deserved it 4 369

Today, while trying anal for the first time, my partner pulled out but the condom got stuck. It was left it dangling outta my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 361

Today, I politely asked our overweight neighbour to park on her side of the garage. Three unsuccessful tries later, she drives out and parks on the street in a huff, and I'm now the world's biggest bastard because she can't legally park on her side and still open her door due to her size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 743