Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML
Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML
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Top comments
that1guy1 13
Hey, it's a step in the right direction!
Mennooboer 12
Manboobs ftw. =D
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Comments (182)
Palirose 22
Nothing wrong with it. After all he is just a baby. No big deal. :P
Savra_fml 17
What was your nipple/tit doing next to the baby's mouth? Is your name Peter Griffin?
audiophileMom 11
Actually skin to skin contact is supposed to be good for the baby so going shirtless with an infant on your arm is the new thing to do.
J3R3MYY 14
^ pedifile..
Savra_fml 17
Yeah 22, you make a good point. But this FML made me think of Family Guy where Peter had Stewie suck his nipple out of curiosity.
btstig 11
29 Shut the **** up. Ignorant Ass.
tommyfox 19
If you're gonna call somebody a pedophile, at least spell it right!
tabarnak_fml 7
#30 I agree with your statement towards #29, but you should have written 'grow the **** up'... You can't spell to save your life, so don't complain to others unless your comment is gramatically flawless.
CrazyManNo9 29
Way too cute! For those of you that are neither Mothers nor Fathers, yet, when a baby gets hungry it is going to find anything and anyone that looks like a nipple and latch onto it. Ready or not. Nothing to see here folks, move along.
Karoleer 14
Boobies! oh,wait...
mrsayuso 0
Don't feel bad, my son did the same to my husband lol. And no he doesn't have man boobs..... Bahahahaha pretty funny though :)
texas_redneck88 10
The episode of "Family Guy" where Stewie latches on to Peter came to mind when I read this FML
every1luvsboners 11
"I had no idea you could milk a cat!" "Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples." "I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?"
Okamigurl 16
Meet the Parents ftw!
Daralea 21
I could try. Who knows, you might like it.
xxxkittykatxxx 0
xD Now pass him off and see how he does with your wife :) Lol. At least he has the idea now.
cptmorgan6 8
Eh, let him practice so when it's time for your wife he'll be a champ.
HetaliaFreak 10
Or for his own wife.... Wait, what? No, I didn't say anything.
Hammer940 7
Hope he doesn't cough up a hair ball later.