Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML
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Top comments
Jefe_fml 0
Nice, you're only temp, go for it.
littlemisslee 0
did you **** in your pants? lol
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Comments (202)
satanicminnow1 1
Learn to control yourself. I am sick of people being so weak willed.
bob1124 0
Sounds like the intro to a porno.
uberchicken 0
I need your FML.
nike1 0
You must have a huge d*ck. How can she possibly miss your leg by that much? And didn't she feel the difference between a fat leg, and a thin penis? I'd say this one's fake. But still, it's fun haha x)
Saoul_fml 0
YDI, if your boss is hitting on you, you must be doing your work well. So, you deserve to be Penis-Patted. :D
M_U_F_F_I_N918 0
if its not ur leg then what is it?
NorfolkDude 2
#84, ever heard of mr woody?
mulva8781 1
I'm failing to see how your life is ******? If anything **** her life for unknowingly touching your junk.
Jackie10 0
Why is this story on FML? ...you got a nice view..and no consequences. lol.
testing_fml 0
Is this an FML because you forgot to follow up by boning her?