Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to...

By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to break up with me was to move out of our apartment while I was at work, and then text me a video of himself having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5064

You deserved it

321

Favorite

Love

Work

Intimacy

Expanding universe

Always ask for documentation

Great quality control

By sleepy - United States

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15888

You deserved it

29216

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15836

You deserved it

86196

Favorite

By Username - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose that much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18964

You deserved it

28606

Favorite

By Amazon Ruined My Life

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1200

You deserved it

3294

Favorite

By GetFuzzy

Coach Class

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

433

You deserved it

1896

Favorite

By elvisfreak5446 - United States

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32110

You deserved it

23312

Favorite

By joarasmi

Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4418

You deserved it

256

Favorite

By ABD

The system is broke!

Today, I found out that when I go on Medicare in January, one of my medicines will go from $45 per month to $3000 for the first month, then $425 per month for the rest of the year. I need this medicine to stay alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6320

You deserved it

333

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/7/2020 23:01

Covid 19 ain't going anywhere

Today, my fiancé and I decided to just have a small wedding and have a big reception later, out of concern for everyone’s health and safety. My mother won’t stop asking us, “What’s the point now?” I thought our marriage was the point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1500

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By WorstMedicalBill - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11109

You deserved it

21611

Favorite

By RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45443

You deserved it

7121

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61367

You deserved it

4548

Favorite

By idiot - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11534

You deserved it

40183

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25789

You deserved it

5661

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Gainesville

Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28380

You deserved it

3136

Favorite

By twitch01 - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14712

You deserved it

54256

Favorite

By Jaymz

Today, I went to my son's final band performance. I also have a busy toddler, so I ended up watching most of the performance in the hallway on a tv monitor. In the middle of the awards ceremony, my toddler pulled the fire alarm. Everyone had to evacuate the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3257

You deserved it

2236

Favorite

By r u kidding me? - 9/6/2020 20:00

Whatthefuckaburger

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2579

You deserved it

279

Favorite

By IcyWinter - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45524

You deserved it

6475

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38275

You deserved it

10403

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23515

You deserved it

46090

Favorite

By regected - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35780

You deserved it

45231

Favorite

By Angela - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28452

You deserved it

5562

Favorite

By boardwalk the fuck out of my resturaunt - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1750

You deserved it

123

Favorite

By ballerphilip23 - Austria

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39789

You deserved it

2941

Favorite

By Ohfknhell

It's a sign...

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4535

You deserved it

733

Favorite

By Gracie-Ann - United States - Portland

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

56567

You deserved it

4787

Favorite

By pissed out pants - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42837

You deserved it

3884

Favorite

By choldcreations - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22020

You deserved it

41159

Favorite

By Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29035

You deserved it

3716

Favorite

By HDcashier - 24/4/2020 17:00

Graded

Today, while cashiering, I rang out a father and his son who looked about eight years-old. The dad jokingly told his son that I was a 10/10 in looks. The son then looked at me for a few seconds and said, "No, probably more like a seven". Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1557

You deserved it

169

Favorite

By anonymous - 13/4/2020 02:00

Keep fit!

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1214

You deserved it

1296

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42188

You deserved it

4506

Favorite

By jesus fuck

Today, I got my 1 year old daughter vaccinated. My wife tried to leave me because she's "never felt more betrayed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3955

Phew, glad it wasn't me

479

Favorite

By whoops - Taiwan

Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24479

You deserved it

10871

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3360

You deserved it

788

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 02:02

Empathy hurts

Today, my brother-in-law's wife said she won the jackpot by marrying into our family. What she doesn't know is that they make fun of her family behind her back, and her husband has no drive or focus in life. Now I get to watch her discover how crazy they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1087

You deserved it

184

Favorite

By John - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30036

You deserved it

50436

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11718

You deserved it

39186

Favorite

By disaster... - United States

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71207

You deserved it

6517

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Ahmed Sakr | 16

#7649571 - Monday 18 June 2018 1:59

Send it to his parents

By manb91uk | 22

#7649564 - Monday 18 June 2018 1:35

You should do the same thing... Believe me he'll be crying until your grandchildren graduate college

COMMENTS

By real life problems | 26

#7649563 - Monday 18 June 2018 1:33

Did she still have her Eagles cheerleader outfit on?

By manb91uk | 22

#7649564 - Monday 18 June 2018 1:35

You should do the same thing... Believe me he'll be crying until your grandchildren graduate college

chosha_fml | 25

#7649572 - Monday 18 June 2018 2:01

The last thing she should do is give this guy a sex tape.

chosha_fml | 25

#7649574 - Monday 18 June 2018 2:02

The last thing she should do is give this guy a sex tape.

manb91uk | 22

#7649906 - Monday 18 June 2018 17:31

There's this revolutionary new concept that hasn't caught on yet... It's called a joke

By Ahmed Sakr | 16

#7649571 - Monday 18 June 2018 1:59

Send it to his parents

Beverlie Macleod | 9

#7649589 - Monday 18 June 2018 3:51

And every other person they know, including his boss and coworkers.

Mungolikecandy | 19

#7650186 - Tuesday 19 June 2018 7:54

Just take care as revenge porn can be illegal.

By PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7649586 - Monday 18 June 2018 3:39

On the bright side, he has already moved out.

By INDYSTRUCTABLE | 43

#7649595 - Monday 18 June 2018 4:57

Google a picture of genital warts, text it back with the words "I'm so sorry" and never respond again ;)

By RichardPencil | 28

#7649598 - Monday 18 June 2018 5:10

Well, it did get the job done and likely answered all of your possible questions.

By tounces7 | 27

#7649600 - Monday 18 June 2018 5:21

Sounds like it's time to share it with everyone who wants to watch. Lets see how long he keeps that new girlfriend.

Earl_KarmasBitch | 28

#7649614 - Monday 18 June 2018 6:57

Today, I hooked up with a guy. His crazy ex somehow got video of it and posted it for all my friends to see. FML

interesting33 | 36

#7649910 - Monday 18 June 2018 17:36

yeah very harsh on the girl and not ok because of that

tounces7 | 27

#7649971 - Monday 18 June 2018 20:25

Blur just HER face out. Problem solved.

By jellenwood | 34

#7649601 - Monday 18 June 2018 5:31

What a jerk! You deserve so much better!

By Earl_KarmasBitch | 28

#7649612 - Monday 18 June 2018 6:55

Send it to the girl. Let her know what kind of a jerk she's with. Sharing it with anyone else could get you in legal trouble but you're okay sending it to her.

By Isamermaid | 17

#7649615 - Monday 18 June 2018 6:57

Luckily he’s gone before you went on any longer with him.
I’d try to keep my head up.