Kids: Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall.... - FML

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 579

You deserved it 8 803

Mama's boy

Empathy lives

Marriage going well is it?

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 264

By dinosawerr - 05/05/2009 12:42 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 590

You deserved it 9 017

By Rob - 09/10/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 962

You deserved it 6 988

Be reasonable, people

By SailorVenus93 - 20/03/2020 06:00

Today, at work, I was told at the beginning of my shift that we would be enforcing a 4-item limit on hand sanitizer, toilet paper, etc. Not even 20 minutes later, I had 2 customers bitch me out. This is going to be a long shift, if not year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 118

By mocass’1 - 13/10/2008 08:19 - France

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 525

You deserved it 43 768

By Anonymous - 25/09/2009 22:53 - Canada

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 276

You deserved it 35 338

By a - 01/03/2011 15:00

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 803

You deserved it 5 756

By emselin - 18/09/2012 20:07 - Denmark - Niv

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 4 999

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 11:55 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 4 114

By ekoblick - 17/06/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 288

You deserved it 3 906

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 026

You deserved it 2 559

By misc - 08/02/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 471

You deserved it 51 146

Wrong way down a one way strrreeeeet

By WrongTrainGuy - 27/05/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I took the wrong train and didn’t realise it until it arrived in Aberdeen. Eight hours from where I was meant to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 841

By unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 163

You deserved it 25 857

By Dlord357 - 07/11/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 3 989

Happy Holidays

By Alone - 27/12/2020 13:58 - Italy

Today, after spending Christmas alone because my bus home got cancelled due to Covid, I found that I have to spend the New Year alone and potentially homeless because my flight home got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 141

By other woman - 21/10/2013 16:42 - United States - Riverside

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 470

You deserved it 5 338

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 10:52 - Netherlands

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 031

You deserved it 6 570

By Anonymous - 04/01/2015 16:58 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 599

You deserved it 3 649

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 02:54 - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 214

You deserved it 2 536

By blah - 15/02/2009 23:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 795

You deserved it 3 799

By queenariii - 28/06/2016 05:55 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 885

You deserved it 1 023

By Jelly_Hell - 03/11/2016 20:24

Today, I almost got hit by a car because the kid in the back who was wearing headphones was paying more attention to the road than the driver. He only just stopped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 409

You deserved it 755

The struggle is real

By Sally - 26/12/2011 11:48 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 547

You deserved it 5 814

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 070

You deserved it 185 324

By WelcomeWagon - 28/06/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 42 110

By marriedtoaretard - 19/02/2012 22:45 - United States

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 2 531

By choldcreations - 07/03/2010 14:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 044

You deserved it 41 219

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 2 516

By anonymous - 28/11/2013 11:41 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 455

You deserved it 3 553

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 316

You deserved it 22 889

By JRock - 22/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 833

You deserved it 4 853

By Fractured - 31/03/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 224

You deserved it 2 637

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 774

You deserved it 13 834

By Anonymous - 09/03/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 2 617

By SherryBaby - 29/12/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 28 120

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 859

You deserved it 40 303

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 312

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend informed me I need to stop staying up all night, because it's "really sketchy" and he feels "uncomfortable" not knowing what I'm doing, and why I'm awake. I'm an insomniac, I have been my whole life, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 153

By Soopa-Genius - 22/09/2011 12:06 - Canada

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 385

You deserved it 2 672

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Top comments

steffidallasbfl 16

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

At least she stood up for you.?

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

Either you did your job poorly or way too well.

Comments

steffidallasbfl 16

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

At least she stood up for you.?

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:47

That's what I was thinking! She clearly loves her daddy.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:53

In addition, it'll make for some great stories in the future. c:

naarz 9

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 23:08

Yea she stood up for you, showing that she cares and her future looks pretty clear from any bullies......

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 1:14

Take her out for ice cream.

laylarose1396 7

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 3:50

Daddy's girl right there!!(:

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 4:18

Get her a awesome Christmas present. Great parenting there

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

Either you did your job poorly or way too well.

mn_shr 22

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:45

I'd say great job dad, tough ass kid you got there!

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:58

I would be very proud of my kid to stick up for anybody! You should be very proud that your kid has that.

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 0:41

@14 Nowhere is it specified that it's the dad. Maybe the mom was being bullied.

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 0:44

14: next to op's username it has the little male icon, a circle with a diagonal arrow.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 0:46

I don't know of any moms who have a dick. There's a sex symbol that clearly identifies OP is in fact male. I hate when people say something stupid like that. Does it really matter if they're a male or female? Beat me to the punch, 53, well played ma'am.

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 1:18

Haha. I didn't even see that symbol. Thanks for pointing it out. Guess I do need to wear my glasses after all. lol

CallMeMcFeelii 13

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 2:31

I always tend to get overly annoyed by those self righteous bastards who jump all over shit like that. That certain type of people who like to believe they're "forward thinkers", and the rest of us are Neanderthals for "assuming" the OP is either male or female. I'm not implying that's how your comment sounded at all, because it really didn't, just explaining myself incase I came off a bit too harsh.

cheshirecat13242 32

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

Bullies are getting bigger at younger ages.. It may be dangerous for an adult to stand up to a pre-pubescent bully

mcm_3 16

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:45

The OP clearly stated that his daughter stood up not the bully. This has nothing to do with pre-pubescent bullies

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:55

It might.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:39

You have a faithful daughter. My sister would've just laughed at me.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 23:44

My niece would of slapped me and told me to get it together.

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 3:22

I'm just glad someone in that family has a backbone... Maybe she got it from her mom

wlddog 14

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 15:04

Gonna say that if your manhood card needs to be pulled OP, if a 4 year old has more balls than you.

Looee 20

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:40

I would be so proud of her!

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:41

You've taught her well.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:57

Too bad he can't take some of his own advice and stand up for himself.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 23:08

Standing up to someone else's kid as an adult can often bring on more trouble then it's worth.

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:41

did she like threaten him?

cyttex 13

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 6:19

There's other ways to stand up for people besides "like threatening him".

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:43

You have a faithful daughter. My sister would've just laughed at me.

golden_warrior 23

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:43

I hope you buy her everything for Christmas

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 22:44

She's been taught well

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 67

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 214