Braelynn
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Los Angeles, United States
Rising Damp
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Lickmebaby
Enfield, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Little shit
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Anonymous
Singapore, Singapore
Sleepless in Singapore
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
umm..WHAT??
Pomona, United States
Halloween came early
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML
Tired mommy
Tired and emotional
Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML
Bir
Nepal
Early wake-up
Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML
Birdman
How sweet
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
purpletrout
Lansing, United States
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
kids are meh
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Ponchatoula, United States
Make it stop
Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML
Top comments
Mortanious 0
That's cute, but till him to go to sleep too and make up a story on why it is important for him to sleep before you; kids love stuff like that. Of course don't tell him about something along the lines of Dead Space 2.
allmidnighteyes 11
Slip the ****** some Nyquil. Or, you know, lock your door and go to sleep.
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Comments (120)
FYLDeep 26
If he's going to be an alarm clock, tell him to let you know when it's 8:00.
Aoife_ckyou 0
It's one night. quit complaining. who really gives a shit if you lose a few hours sleep for ONE night? god knows how you'll cope if you ever have children and they wake up screaming at all hours of the night and morning.
Mervin22 6
Whoa. Calm down Hitler!
Mervin22 6
Woah. Calm down. It's just an FML.
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
What kind of thing did she say? o_o
Crews17 0
Dam that must suck
insanesna1l 0
well he cares about you enough to let you know. at least if the house is on fire you will get woken up
mea_iloveskiing 26
tell him that there's no santa :D
loski87 4
lmao that's cruel
bigantennaemay 3
lmao that's funny
Angelece 0
I learned that the hard way because I saw my fat uncle drinking all the food we left out for Santa but he only drank the beer. :(
mea_iloveskiing 26
Ooh that's bad. Well my comment was a joke :) I have a 4-year-old niece and I love her. I wouldn't do that.
hollylollyxoxo 0
give him back his rubber centipede toy and he'll be to busy rubbing it on his face to realize you fell asleep
sumrem 0
haha I saw that other fml too! lol
rattusrattus 19
Tell him that if he doesn't let you sleep the bogey man will pay a visit. Don't tell him that the bogey man will be you, tired, woozy and angry from sleep deprivation.
ryukensfj 5
He's saving your life! Freddy was going to get you! :)
klong91 7
tell him if he doesn't let you sleep a monster will come and eat h.
_se7en_780 0
haha thats funny :D
underpaid011 0
invent a game. call it "go tell mommy when I fall asleep" or something. be creative.