Braelynn
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Los Angeles, United States
Rising Damp
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Lickmebaby
Enfield, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Little shit
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
Anonymous
Singapore, Singapore
Sleepless in Singapore
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
umm..WHAT??
Pomona, United States
Halloween came early
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML
Tired mommy
Tired and emotional
Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML
Bir
Nepal
Early wake-up
Today, my nephew grabbed my balls to wake me up at 4 AM. FML
Birdman
How sweet
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
purpletrout
Lansing, United States
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
kids are meh
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Ponchatoula, United States
Make it stop
Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML
Top comments
Mortanious 0
That's cute, but till him to go to sleep too and make up a story on why it is important for him to sleep before you; kids love stuff like that. Of course don't tell him about something along the lines of Dead Space 2.
allmidnighteyes 11
Slip the ****** some Nyquil. Or, you know, lock your door and go to sleep.
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Comments (120)
nomadwtf 0
lol sorry but that's funny
DaveTheBrave20 0
awww
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Give him"kool-ade"
Haha_no_123 11
Hahaha! Jim Jones. Yes OP, tell him a story of you building a town, bringing people including him and how everyone was happy. Then give him kool-aid saying "this is the special juice everyone in my town loved". You won't have to deal with him Ever Again P.S. Please DONT do the kool-aid part!!
LemonStarship 5
Give your cousin lots of snacks. You won't hear a thing.
DorkyBlake 0
hahahahahahahaha. Awwww.
Chaudasse_fml 0
Kill him and shut the **** up, you morron
momo1972 3
that's nice of him
JERZBornNRaised 7
hahahaha my little cousins are 5 and another one is 4 and they never let me sleep even after work for 8 - 10 hours, and watchin after him and her all dayyyyyyyy.. but ohhh well, not gonna complain they make me laugh haha.. and its fun to take em out and see em happy.. gotta make sure they have a good childhood right?
PhunkyMagic 0
LOL. Did you tell him to STFU? 'Cause if not... then you kinda deserve it
daveb989898 0
it's called BENADRYL!!!! LOL