njh
Ireland
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
CiaoBella
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Oundle, United Kingdom
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Anonymous
In the doghouse
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Anonymous
Dallas, United States
Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML
paparoach
Kapolei, United States
Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML
Anonymous
Dewitt, United States
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Anonymous
Rude boy
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Parroting
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
poormom
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Good news
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Top comments
jeff_boles 12
When I was a kid I said **** and duck all the time cause they rhymed and I thought I invented a new word.But maybe your son just likes to curse like a sailor!
amberr_harperr 15
kids. they say the darnedest things
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Comments (99)
dohdohdoh 13
That's awesome. Your kid rules. Glad my 3 yr old doesn't do that. Check your partner's swearing
thatsme293 28
Perfect story for when he brings his first girlfriend over.
imaboy22 3
does he watch youtube? specifically PewDiePie. I've heard out from some of his videos lol
BlackFire4890 16
(little yellow minion) WHAaAaAa?
nialls_girl 13
Monkey see, monkey do.
vigoss_fml 4
maybe Strutter has a part of the blame...
hitkid007 2
movie Dogma (Jay and Silent Bob)
sjimpleton 18
fun fact: male ducks have corkscrew penises
sally_jangl 13
sally jangl
ThatGuyBrennen1 13
when I read this I though it said **** me daddy.