Work: Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored.... - FML

By anonymous - 22/04/2011 05:20

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 396

You deserved it 44 263

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Breakfast time!

Thicker than blood

By DieTrying - 02/02/2012 09:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 125

You deserved it 5 448

Delusional

By fmlifetime - 24/10/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 574

You deserved it 14 874

By Peter80 - 03/03/2009 14:55 - Netherlands

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 190

You deserved it 73 477

By chumleevil - 08/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 093

You deserved it 3 489

By Anonymous - 14/03/2016 23:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I'm recovering from a brain injury that occurred a few months ago. The newest challenge I'm facing is thinking the floor is moving any time there is a change in colour or texture. My house has patterned tile floors and carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 750

You deserved it 1 225

By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 273

You deserved it 3 942

By hhaannnnaahh - 13/02/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 906

You deserved it 3 491

Meme wars

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 22:57

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 94

Zoom call from hell

By low_expectations - 19/08/2020 02:04

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 21:36 - United States - College Station

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 930

You deserved it 5 908

By Meetingman - 20/12/2016 08:36

Today, our company did a photo-session for the website. The photographer was limping, and I immediately asked what's wrong with him. Then I noticed he was on a prosthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 391

You deserved it 2 472

The road to hell…

By carlyalexia - 28/08/2020 20:01

Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 571

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 961

You deserved it 7 383

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 17:01 - Netherlands

Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 195

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 851

You deserved it 3 049

By mrtoolate - 19/06/2016 08:58 - India - Pune

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 826

You deserved it 1 710

By Anonim23 - 25/06/2019 00:15

Today, I finally decided to go talk to my upstairs neighbour about the loud banging noises he makes every single morning around 8 a.m. It worked. Now he starts at 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 177

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 240

Signs

By Anonymous - 10/04/2021 23:00

Today, it's been a year since I moved 200 km across the country to be closer to my boyfriend of 5 years and his kids. I got the keys to my flat and 3 days later the pandemic was a fact. Shouldn’t have ignored that sign. I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 108

By suzyyy - 23/02/2011 09:18 - Netherlands

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 992

You deserved it 28 238

Promises, promises

By IHateMyLife - 06/04/2021 00:30

Today, my boyfriend promised me to cook dinner if I picked him up from work, almost 100 km and 2-hour drive. I did this even though I worked the night shift yesterday and had to today and normally have to sleep a lot. But no, after we got home, he fell asleep and was still sleeping and snoring when I had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 161

By cowgurl91 - 13/01/2010 21:40 - France

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 224

You deserved it 42 272

By Anonymous - 03/04/2018 15:00

Today, after 38 years of never meeting my dad, and paying a private investigator thousands of pounds over several weeks of searching, I found him living 2 floors down in the same block of flats. He’s the grouchy downstairs neighbour I’ve hated for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 961

You deserved it 440

When karma does its job

By Anonymous - 17/02/2020 18:00

Today, I found out the guy whose ass I used to routinely kick in high school is now dating my 19 year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 4 817

By joe - 08/08/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 8 309

By Canadagirl - 24/08/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 189

You deserved it 300

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 19:07 - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 415

You deserved it 41 173

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 342

By Anon - 28/12/2012 08:14 - United States - Southbury

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 277

You deserved it 35 515

By Shelly P. - 29/01/2012 00:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 446

You deserved it 3 515

By anon - 27/12/2013 06:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 938

You deserved it 3 495

By dykerino - 12/10/2014 00:11 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 627

You deserved it 7 526

By KyngJulian - 23/04/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 638

You deserved it 19 668

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 11:01

Spicy

Today, I found out why I’ve been covering most of the bills and the rent. Turns out my boyfriend is paying a very expensive OnlyFans subscription for his female bestie. When I confronted him about it, he responded by yelling, “It’s not like that!” and punched our glass patio door, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 146

By crap - 07/03/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I finally told my best friend whom I've secretly been in love with for two years that I was in love with her but at the last second chickened out and said I was joking. She replied with "Don't scare me like that. I thought I was going to have to find a new best friend for a second" FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 290

You deserved it 7 291

By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 17:00 - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 714

You deserved it 58 836

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 445

You deserved it 2 841

By MICHAELTHEA - 21/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 516

You deserved it 4 330

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 8 521

By M to the line - 11/01/2009 03:57 - France

Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that "We should do brunch every saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 058

You deserved it 32 311

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Friday 22 April 2011 11:56

lol hopefully it wasnt nothing that bad

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Friday 22 April 2011 15:19

AliceStar, I hate to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "not on the Internet anymore" once it's there it's always there....somewhere

Comments

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Friday 22 April 2011 11:56

lol hopefully it wasnt nothing that bad

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Friday 22 April 2011 11:58

hope it wasn't something like 2 girls 1 cup :l

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:46

lmfao

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Friday 22 April 2011 13:49

I hate to be the YouTube nerd here, but YouTube removes any shock video, or anything including nudity or too much gore. 2 girls 1 cup is therefore NOT on there. That video was disgusting.

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Friday 22 April 2011 14:28

2 girls 1 cup isn't even on the Internet anymore.

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Friday 22 April 2011 14:39

^^good lmfao.

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Friday 22 April 2011 14:43

it actually is...

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Friday 22 April 2011 15:19

AliceStar, I hate to break it to you, but there's no such thing as "not on the Internet anymore" once it's there it's always there....somewhere

scottyrocks123 21

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Friday 22 April 2011 15:44

how the hell would you know that?

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Friday 22 April 2011 16:01

sooo it's motivation

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Friday 22 April 2011 16:02

whoops wrong fml

eyez_lay_low1921 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 17:04

turrets guy maybe?

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Friday 22 April 2011 18:31

bet it was rebecca black

simply_improper 1

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Friday 22 April 2011 23:43

we need more info here. i hate posts like this. wtf were you watchin?

adrianblackett 0

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Saturday 23 April 2011 3:13

ughhh hate Rebecca black

Itstherealjen 0

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Saturday 23 April 2011 21:05

lol

countryrose92 23

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Sunday 23 June 2013 0:23

I'm with 72, what were you watching and what did they say after it was over? Lol DETAILS. Plz.

SilverFalchion 3

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Sunday 11 May 2014 4:28

Yes it is

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Friday 22 April 2011 11:57

porn

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Friday 22 April 2011 15:38

must of been a good video for them to wait till the end to say something....

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Friday 22 April 2011 17:02

42 do u have zynga poker cause I swear you look like someone I played with..

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Friday 22 April 2011 17:59

strip poker on a web cam maybe, but other than that, naw.....

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Friday 22 April 2011 19:17

there's no porn on YouTube...

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Friday 22 April 2011 23:30

58- you ain't got much to strip anyway.

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Saturday 23 April 2011 1:11

theres no porn on YouTube

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Saturday 23 April 2011 6:08

Clearly he was watching one of my YouTube videos. So naturally everyone was speechless at the Amazingness.

abceasyas123abc 12

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Friday 22 April 2011 11:59

Haha, you probably did them all a service if no one spoke up about it until after.

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:06

you sir are an idiot

SchiTzenGiglez 0

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Friday 22 April 2011 23:11

^second^

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:07

I'd much rather watch a video than work during a conference call. you did them a favor, be happy about it!

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Friday 22 April 2011 15:13

that's probably y they never told him. lol

cherryblossomchi 4

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:12

um...you do realize you get paid to work and not mess around on YouTube, right? ydi for being an idiot

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:15

heh you've never had an office job have you??

shoopd 19

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Friday 22 April 2011 13:20

Or maybe they have AND were able to keep it because they were actually working instead of watching videos

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Friday 22 April 2011 13:33

shoopd: my bosses watched videos whenever there was nothing going on. I guess it depends on who and where you are. Small town Texas, for example we didn't always have any thing to do we were allowed such privileges, and I didn't lose the job it's seasonal, tax season is over I don't work there when there's nothing to work on. I did keep my job, so to speak, since I am expected next year.

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:18

Atleast it wasn't redtube... Or you're censoring it by changing red to you?

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Friday 22 April 2011 13:50

i suspected the same thing.

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:20

You missed a great opportunity to Rickroll the people you work with. Or play that awful Friday video. When life gives you the chance to mess with people (in a benign way that won't get you shot in the head), do it! :D

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:48

how many people,after reading this comment went and checked if u did fyl

heyred 11

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Friday 22 April 2011 12:49

So they were supposed to tell you that you are an unmotivated idiot?!

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Friday 22 April 2011 17:21

As if they were any more motivated... it's about PRETENDING to be motivated.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 97

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 287