Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Mikeskinner 7
Oh dear lord, sorry OP! Just make sure you get rid of all the corpses fast. Ants and such. FYL!
wyattshack 4
I think I just threw up a little
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Comments (115)
aksweetheart 7
... I'm eating noodles right now... *pushes plate away*
agnert17 5
Oh shit, I would've died right then. That's horrible!
KiddNYC1O 22
Not all cats are built to go after mice.
Fisheyedfool7 2
Lmfao, great descriptive use of words OP. Awesome fml! My cat doesn't catch mice. It just lays there and gets fatter each day. I think I have a defective cat...
trg568 7
no forgivness here bub
RomanBeauty 0
I agree that your life sucks OP, but mostly because you were actually waiting in anticipation for your cat to catch mice and leave it for you... Get a dog.
mrsmaglietta 6
why I'm a dog person
captainburke 5
Hey that's a good cat, it's their only job! It's disgusting, but they leave the butt as a gift for you.
honestjane 22
My cat brought me chipmunk rump before. I could tell it was a 'munk because of the tail. Otherwise it would've just been half of "something". Still better than when my dog left a disemboweled 'possum on the front steps for me. Can't pick that up with a paper towel and dispose of it!
pdp_fml 21
Call the exterminator!
HayJay316 9
I love the wording of this but sorry OP.