Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he wasn't on Facebook for the last two days. It turned out his father found out we were talking, and banned him from logging on. He's 19. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML
Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML
Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML
Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You should feel honored to have a superhero for a boyfriend.
Apretendbiscuit 12
Is this an FML because you don't have a spider-man suit?
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Comments (173)
cryssycakesx3 23
I've lived with my boyfriend for 2 years. we are together every possible moment. we both love it. we're inseparable. I have a panic attack if I don't hear from him for an hour
Sweetpea22 14
You actually believe he loves your clinginess? Dream on. He probably loves being away from you when he can. You sound like a paranoid, controlling freak
harmtouch16 11
You stated that like it's something to be proud of. You need something more in your life if you're having a panic attack over not talking to him every hour. What kind of job does he have/do you have where every 59 minutes you can be like, "Oh hold up, almost an hour here..." Whip out your phone and call or text each other. I'm very (very) happily married to the father of my children that I've been with for 18 years. He goes to work and I'll see him when he gets home, 9 hours later. If I had to talk to him every hour- wow what a turn off. If I'm out with my best friend for a ladies night or he's out with his twin, better believe neither of us is selfish enough to call and interrupt each other. Love each other, enjoy each other, but man your world can come crashing down in the blink of an eye. You need more in your life cause if something happens to him or you, you need more to rely on.
Sweetpea22 14
If I was #105's boyfriend, I would do whatever the **** I can to avoid going home to her. She seems like the kind to snoop in your mail e-mail, and phone
love_me_electric 20
Sweetpea, is it that hard for you to believe her boyfriend actually likes being around her that much? If he didn't like spending time with her, why the hell would he date her? Pretty rude to make all those assumptions about their relationship when you know nothing about them.
Sweetpea22 14
I know many men who are like #104'sr boyfriend. They hate their clinginess, but are too afraid to tell them about it.
love_me_electric 20
I feel sorry for you, hopefully one day you'll find a man who actually enjoys spending time with you and looks forward to it. Sad that you think most men hate hanging out with/talking to their girlfriends. I've found the opposite to be true.
Sweetpea22 14
Guess what? I do have a boyfriend I am happy to hang out with when I can. I also don't have panic attacks when he doesn't call every day since I know he is busy.
harmtouch16 11
I'm pretty sure there's a big difference in enjoying hanging out with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse and having an anxiety attack if you don't talk every hour. Men do not enjoy desperate, psychotic, clinginess like that. If I ever acted like that, my husband would be checking me into an institution.
Hutch1965 6
FYL because he can't text you for one day. Grow up, child.
mayley 16
You can go one day without texting him! And I think it's awesome he's dressing up in a spiderman suit all day!
blackonblight 33
It's one day whiner. If you're ashamed of his costume then f HIS life, it's ****** Halloween. Deal with it.
TogeBara 12
I have a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, and we don't get to talk daily. It happens, deal with it.
nyahz1 7
I feel your pain OP, my boyfriend is the hawk (avengers) today and ive lost count of how much ive been shot
Serisent 26
Hawkeye. The superhero name you are seeking is Hawkeye.
typicalfour 4
It's Halloween. Of course it's non negotiable.
MRVOlivia 22
Spider-Man is my favorite superhero! Shame on you for trying to take him away from his valiant cause!
OddShoeLaces 13
You're dating Peter Parker and you're here moaning about it? Come on, Mary Jane!
vanaathiel 13
F your boyfriend's life for having a gf that gets mad about this.