Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
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Top comments
F0xyTurtle 8
Lake Sharks!
block1 2
Just throw him in
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Comments (156)
kelsey_katie 17
Seriously? Lol.. Fail.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Tell if he doesn't go in the water the lions will eat him.
HarrietPotter239 0
Check the history on the lake for attacks. Sometimes things like that could actually happen. Saltwater animals can easily adapt to freshwater.
Wheredidgrungego 12
But not really.... The scariest animal that lives in freshwater is probably the alligator snapping turtle. But I'm not even sure if that's freshwater. Bull sharks CAN live in freshwater for up to 4 years, but I doubt one would be in a lake unless it was connected to a river which was connected to the ocean. Shit I'm rambling. Bottom line: your biggest worry at any lake is the Loch Ness Monster.
Squirrelx 5
In our area, we have really big catfish that chill around at the bottom of the lake. But it's usually at the bottom of the dam. They aren't harmful or anything, but I'm just saying. We also have a lot of water moccasins (not sure if I spelled that right) which are dangerous. So it depends on the area.
MrSexyPants 14
Damn shark week.
MrSexyPants 14
Heck yes, ahead of the curve.
cjgqsmooth 0
Too much shark week i take it?
milou_fml 6
At least you don't have to worry about him drowning.
Warcraft_looser 7
how is this intamacy? :)
Warcraft_looser 7
intimacy**
Mirorbo 27
Shark week will do that to ya.
KellyIsTheBest32 12
Isn't that from a movie?
Kyze_Ninja 10
Yeah, I think the movie is in theaters now