By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 21:43 - United States - Sterling

Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 493
You deserved it 3 315

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You should tell them, that if they say that, they will be taken away from you, and placed in foster care, where there will be rules, bedtimes and chores they're trying to escape.

Something like this happened to my uncle. His son (my cousin) called the cops on him for telling him to study, saying he hurt him. He had to live with us for a couple days. It's sad because now he's too afraid to discipline his youngest one now because if something is brought to the cops again it could get his kids taken away from him.

Comments

Sounds like it's time for these kids to start learning what rent and bills are.

you didn't abuse them enough in the first place

not beating their asses when they said that is where you went wrong. this whole generation of parents are horrible

Yes, because this only happens in this generation, right? Stupid kids and stupid parents will exist in every generation.

Lol. You call us abusers? I'll prove you wrong by abusing you.

so.. these parents are horrible for not beating their children? I'm glad you're not my parent

Agreed. Some physical discipline is what most of these spoiled brats need these days.

No, all parents need to do is firmly explain to their child what's right and what's wrong. Often it needs to be explained many many times but it's worth it. Beating your child is for lazy ***** who can't be bothered to take the time to thoroughly explain to their child what's right and wrong.

Or sometimes no matter how many times you tell them they still don't give a ****? I wasn't spanked, I just did what I wanted and she grounded me from tv, phone, computer, I had to stay in my room, and I still continued to do what I did before. I've had to stay in my room the entire summer and it still didn't change anything. Don't you think she would have tried to talk to me? Because she did countless times and grounded me all the time but that didn't do anything. You obviously haven't had to raise a shitty child if you think 'talking to them' will make them stop. There's a difference between abuse and spanking.

@65 said exactly what I was going to say. And hey at least you realized and learned what not to do from your own experiences.

I was going to say the same thing #6! Hopefully that will stop them.

just call their bluff. say you'll try to visit them in the foster home. :)

Reminds me of my niece trying something like this. She told her parents that she would call the child abuse hotline (a hotline specifically made for abused children so they can get help) if she had to do her homework. After a very stern talk and having everything she enjoyed doing was taken away from her, did she understand she made a huge mistake saying that.

This, a million times. I'm sick of people saying "oh you need to hit your child to make them understand". All they need to do is explain why it's wrong. Thank you for posting this comment.

That doesn't work with all children. Many children don't give a shit about why it's wrong. There's a difference between hitting and spanking. If you think 'talking to them' will make them stop, you obviously haven't had to deal with or raise a shitty child. As I have said before

If you are trying to raise a "shitty child" it's because you are a shitty parent. Hitting your child to 'make them understand ' is, at best, lazy parenting.

Really depends on the child though. In my own experience: a stern talk helped me understand what I did wrong, but the spanking made sure that I didn't do it again. If my parents left the spanking behind and only talked, I cared a lot less when I did something wrong and would be tempted to do it again. My brother and sister were different. My brother only needed a stern talk or be send to his room. My sister really needed a spanking to be disciplined. There's not just one way to discipline a child, since every child is different even if the upbringing is basically the same. Also, there's a big difference between hitting and spanking.

brocho 26

I second #78. I think kids do learn from consequences, and if I knew I would be spanked for something, there was a much lower chance of me doing it again than if I thought I would just get a lecture about it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want either, but I tried to avoid spankings more. There is a HUGE difference between spanking and abusing your kids too. Spanking isn't lazy unless you do it in every situation, and misusing anything is bad, not just with spanking. With kids, and especially younger ones, it's hard to really reason with them and most of them don't really care much about whether something is right or wrong, but more so of what the consequences are. As a kid, I avoided doing things I thought would get me in trouble, and I loved doing things that I would get rewarded for. Whether or not it was right or wrong didn't really occur to me until I was old enough to truly understand why it's not okay to do things that aren't right.

KryssLB 14

When my kids were little I started counting backwards from five. I warned them that if I got to zero they would be spanked. If they listened I stopped counting. If they didn't, I kept going, with warnings. I got to zero reluctantly, giving them every chance to listen, but if we did get to zero, they got their spanking. Every time, without fail. It didn't take very many times for them to learn that I meant it when I started counting, and that if I got to zero there WOULD be a consequence, immediate and unpleasant and visceral (and not just a time out or "no TV" or something equally as abstract--although I will also use time-outs and losses of privileges as required, but not when counting). As a result, I haven't gotten to zero since like a month or so after I started doing it (and not for years), and if they are acting up and not listening, all I have to do is say "FIVE." in the Mum Voice and they stop and knock it off. I very, very rarely even have to say "Four," and I don't even remember the last time we got to three. It's like training puppies, in some ways. Lay out clear, consistent directions and results early and enforce them every time. And if you start counting, you need to follow it up every single time if they push you to zero. Explain what you're going to do when you first start doing it so they know what to expect. And only use it as a last resort. Don't abuse it, and they won't push it, because they will know, when you start counting, that you Really Really Mean It. And then they will listen. :) **My oldest is a pre-teen and the hormones are only just beginning to kick in so we'll see how well he listens over the next several years. But it's worked great for the first decade, for them both!

Bluedy 17

14 YEAR OLD?! I understand 12 but how come 14? I'm almost 15 and I think your 14 year old is pretty stupid for his age.

cornwallus24 8

Well somewhere between zero years of age and present day you did something to make them think they could get away with that shit.My parents would have pack my bag and said have a good life!Tell them no problem BOUNCE

My parents made that threat, but they said that everything they paid for had to stay, I never did try to call them on my bluff.

Don't take this lightly. That's an extremely selfish, manipulative and horrible thing to say. And they're old enough to know better, especially the 14 year old. This needs some harsh punishment.

Protective services deals with false reports all the time and will be able to figure it out if it comes to that.