By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 21:01 - United States - East Orange

Spicy
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 399
You deserved it 5 468

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Turned that software into hardware eh?

Learn to control yourself man.

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Learn to control yourself man.

OP got a boner... you know that thing, that sometimes decides to have a life of its own. He didn't do anything out of a line, as we know of course, so yours comment roughly translate to "Stare at sun for 12 hours straight, obtain super powers and learn no control mother nature, man."

Or you can focus on your toes and tighten your thigh muscles to kill that boner. Warning: don't get caught looking at your toes and making weird thigh clenching faces.

That's kind of unreasonable... controlling a boner is like trying to tame a wild lion whilst covered in expertly spiced filet mignon

It's difficult but not impossible, has a lot to do with redirecting the blood in your system by flexing. Hit some gym poses and you'll beat it in no time

11, 34 - It's not impossible to do if it does happen. And while spontaneous erections do happen, in this situation it's OP's fault for letting himself fantasize like that in an inappropriate situation.

You make the assumption that there was any fantasy at all.

You can fantasize wherever the hell you want, bud. Either way, judging by the way OP wrote it he probably didn't even think of a fantasy purposely.

43 - No, I'm not assuming anything. When he states he's "so desperately lonely", he directly implies that he's fantasizing. 55 - Actually you can't. In certain situations, it's inappropriate to fantasize, especially if you're so lonely that the slightest contact immensely arouses you. It's a question of knowing your own capacities and inhibitions, "bud". You're ignorant.

56 - Late reply but I don't care... Anyway, he didn't imply anything about fantasizing, what he said that an event of woman giving him a number gave him a boner. So unless you want to say, that it is impossible to get boner without fantasizing. I will say that yours statement is full of shit. Secondly it is possible to control ones erection in most cases, but you first have to get it or start getting it, for you to have what to control so it is perfectly possible to get an erection, take it down and still feel like shit and so lonely that suck little and totally not intimate action managed to give person a boner.

58 - Yes he did directly imply fantasizing. I never said it's impossible to get a boner without fantasizing, you moron. The second part of that response is not only rambling and incoherent, but inherently incorrect. It's possible to prevent yourself from getting a boner in the first place, which is the point of my original comment. Now get the fuck out you idiot.

Ummmmm #26 I don't think he was trying to go super saiyan.

Turned that software into hardware eh?

Smooth hahaha

It's called a giggity-byte!

Turn your floppy disc to a hard drive.

I bet he nearly flipped his desk over when he got up to say good bye ...

Sounds like the start to an old porno.

Sounds like the start to a mid 90s porno when everything was about the personal computer.

If you're that lonely go out more and look for friends :/

Haha I don't see why my comment is being disliked. If someone is "desperately lonely" they need to put effort into changing that hence looking for friends.

Well it's not really about friends it's about finding a girlfriend/boyfriend. I know I don't get raging boners by hanging out with my friends. The OP clearly wants a significant other, not someone to do stuff with.

So do you not consider someone you're in a relationship with to be your friend too? You can go in search for friends and end up enjoying their company enough to push further and get together. Go ahead dislike if you all please but I stand by the fact that he needs to pursue it. Besides, saying you're desperately lonely means you are lacking the company of others or are in need of someone caring. Unfortunately not everything is spoon fed to you and the results you get in life originate from the actions you are willing to put in. If he's desperately lonely he hasn't put in the effort to change that and clearly no one else is to blame.

I'll help with that ;)

totally deserved that boner

I'm afraid to imagine how you'd handle the follow-up phone call.

I didn't mean to thumbs down this my phone won't let me change it back...but that comment is hilarious

"Walked outside into the rain, checked my phone and saw you rang and I jizzed in my pants."

At my last job, I was buying lunch from the nearby takeaway shop and got a half chub when they gave me a free potato scallop with my food. I guess the thing to take away from this would be that cocks are fucking weird.

I don't need to know you, I now love you for this comment.