By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 21:43 - United States - Sterling

Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 453
You deserved it 3 298

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You should tell them, that if they say that, they will be taken away from you, and placed in foster care, where there will be rules, bedtimes and chores they're trying to escape.

Something like this happened to my uncle. His son (my cousin) called the cops on him for telling him to study, saying he hurt him. He had to live with us for a couple days. It's sad because now he's too afraid to discipline his youngest one now because if something is brought to the cops again it could get his kids taken away from him.

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They probably like minions too... Despicable

TheSaiyanQueen 8

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Yeah... so when the children tell the teachers about the abuse they won't be lying

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Ugh, God. Not this shit again. It's been scientifically proven that spanking a child just leads to them having social issues and often doesn't help, sometimes just makes them more mischievous. Please go back to the 20th century.

And what "scientific studies" prove that? I was spanked as a child and now have a full-time job with great benefits, a loving husband, and a great social life. I do however have friends that weren't spanked that can't keep a job, have no drive to better themselves and have no stable environment that they live in because they expect everything to be handed to them. But yeah...I'm the one with the issues.

If physically hurting your child is the only way you can get them to behave then you are a bad parent.

askullnamedbilly 33

I was spanked, and I do resent my parents for it. It didn't teach me anything about how my behavior was wrong or how to control myself better, and I think that if the only way you can get through to a person is to use pain, you really need to work on your communication skills - no matter how old that person is. I don't remember ever thinking 'Oh no, I shouldn't do this, I'll get spanked' before doing something that turned out to be wrong, so if isn't a preventative method, what's it good for?

Proven scientifically??? That's utter bullshit! I don't agree with violence as educational system. However let's not make a drama out of nothing. Few slaps won't traumatise anybody as long as you don't beat up your kids. Is it going to be effective? There might be debatable

81, you are the exception, not the rule. Soaking should be used a little and if it doesn't work, parents should change it. It's not spanking that you had the issues with, it's that your parents didn't know shit about how to properly use it.

Actually #52 is right, there are many scientific psychological studies on spanking that show it's harmful effects both at the time, and in the future behavior of the person. I learned about it in university during my psychology classes. The American Psychological Association even says "A growing body of research has shown that spanking and other forms of physical discipline can pose serious risks to children, but many parents aren’t hearing the message. Many studies have shown that physical punishment — including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to increased aggression, antisocial behavior, physical injury and mental health problems for children." If you think about it, spanking really isn't great, you are twice a child's size, intelligence and understanding, and for doing something wrong you're going to hit them? If you did this to an adult, an equal, it would be assault, but to someone who is smaller, and doesn't have a fully developed mind or cognitive understanding, it's Ok? To me personally, it just doesn't seem right. Also, just because you turned out well with spanking and you know others who didn't, that is not evidence, because it's personal. It doesn't show the effect of spanking as a whole, it only shows individual levels. In the same way that, just because your grandpa smoke and drank all his life and lived long, and you know another who did none of that and died early. It still doesn't mean smoking and drinking are good for you.

askullnamedbilly 33

No, it is the spanking that I had issues with. It's the fact that now as an adult, I can evaluate my parents' behavior more critically than I could as a kid, and I happen to think that hitting a kid is fucked up. If spanking is such an amazing way of correcting behavior, why is the only group of people we use it on little kids? Any other type of punishment (taking away of privileges, being confined to a room for an extended period time) is acceptable for adults as well, but if you started physically hurting criminals, you'd have the human rights activists banging on your door. Additionally, it's only acceptable to hit kids on the buttocks - if you repeatedly slapped your kid's shoulders, arms or bottom of their feet (all areas which will not damage their internal organs, like regular spanking does) it'd be considered child abuse.

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You're an idiot.

Both my sister and I were spanked as children, along with many of our close friends and family. It didn't take many to teach us that acting out, misbehaving, or getting into trouble equaled pain. We all grew up to be healthy, productive, and respectful members of society. Those that weren't disciplined in the same manner, and who's parents tried to be their best friends instead of patients, well most of them still live at home, have the same minimum wage job that they had in high school, have criminal issues, have multiple kids with multiple partners, live on welfare, and/or are generally dysfunctional and unproductive members of society. P.S. My wife has a Master's in child psychology and worked as a child counselor with an adoption agency. She can validate the effectiveness of proper physical discipline over those who are not disciplined.

I'm pretty sure damaging kids' internal organs is also considered abuse...

Saying spanking is abuse is ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with punishment. My boyfriend spanks me during sex - is he abusing me now? No. Absolutely crazy. A few spanks on the butt for acting out never hurt anyone. If you were getting spanked for no reason, then that's a little different. But I am definitely spanking my kids if they act out. Hell, I spank my dog when he does something wrong.

The difference between spanking during sex and spanking a child (besides the obvious, of course) is that your boyfriend spanking you during sex is (most likely) consensual. And you spanking your dog when he does something wrong is terrible. He's a DOG. You should never, ever strike your pet. Jeez, use your words. Also, I'd just like to point out how interesting it is that it's called discipline when you hit your child, but abuse when you hit, say, your spouse. I wonder why that is -_-

Hotelpark 2

Put them up for adoption or tell the local youth authority that they're incorrigible.

Ya. Right. Tell them they'll be put in foster care if they went through with it

Tell them to do it under their own roof...

Get rid of their toys, cell phones, video games, change, the wifi password etc taking care of your kids does not mean they have to have extra stuff. Then let them know when they're ready to follow the rules again, you'll chat.

As awesome as this advice is, sounds as though the little shits might go through with it because of this.

This sounds perfect

My kid tried that. I laughed at him, told him to enjoy foster care and took away his phone and computer. 10 minutes later he was quietly doing the chores that he'd been trying to get out of.

Real simple: tell them you will be happy to hand over their custody to the state. Offer to call your version of child services yourself. Tell your ungrateful little progeny that they may wish to consult some kids that are mired in the foster care system beforehand. That very possibly they will doom themselves to nothing new or fun ever again and at very best caretakers that will benevolently ignore their vary existence.

Send them to military school. Don't take this lightly. This shows that they have absolutely no respect for you and that they think they're the ones in charge. That's what happens when you're not strict enough.

This is probably the most sensible idea in the whole comment section.

Witch_E_Poo 14

I agree. Best comment yet! Tell the brat that also,if they ever say those words again...off they go! Brilliant.

You can do as you like then too.... don't feel like making dinner - don't. Don't feel like doing the washing - don't. Don't feel like giving them money - don't. Go to the school, tell the teachers in front of the kids - ask for extra homework.