Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML
Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML
Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
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Top comments
realworldready 0
You SOB!!! A) For crashing her car B) And this is more important, for describing those ******* cookies on FML! Asshole!!! Do I have triple-chocolate-double-mint cookies topped with Andes' mints right now? NO!!!! And now I definitely want some! YOU SUCK!!! YDI!!!
lesp 6
Wow. FHL. Were you drunk?
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Comments (171)
MandM44 0
It's not like he WANTED to crash her car or tried to...I'm assuming. Why does he deserve it? He obviously feels bad about it.
MemoriesOfOblivi 1
the OP is a lady.. Just saying.. :P
soundsfishytome 0
I don't get how people are saying he deserved it. Obviously, it was an accident and he is upset about it or he wouldn't be posting it in the first place... he feels awful that she was so nice to him and then he accidentally ****** up her day, is that too hard for you guys to understand?
FMLshark 12
The big pink gender sign means "female". OP is a woman. Lesbians do exist.
illeyad 0
You should have been more careful behind the wheels. I bet you ate those cookies before you told her :P
ohhboyy 0
why does this button say spill the beans instead of just "post comment" WHAT BEANS?! jk =]
slushpup9696 12
BP already spilled those beans.
idkxd13 0
Lmao @ #8 Wow poor girl fix her car at least dude
shmaller 0
You can't really blame him for being in an accident, can you? It happens to everyone, but it's never intentional. FYL.
tyonclav 0
Way to go dumbass
akiro525 3
unlucky, it will only be about 10 years b4 she forgives you.
itsgen 16
wow nice going dnt expect a 3 year anniversary
xox_what_now 0
Was the mustang a horse