Intimacy: Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner....

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 2 596

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 258

You deserved it 7 001

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 426

You deserved it 205

Where d'you go?!

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 665

You deserved it 3 559

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 549

You deserved it 241

By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 213

You deserved it 29 144

By phuckbukket7 - 27/04/2014 22:08 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 665

You deserved it 8 726

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 375

You deserved it 4 316

By intranator - 08/04/2009 21:43 - Jordan

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 920

You deserved it 9 689

By Haitwun - 08/12/2014 02:18 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 257

You deserved it 2 927

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 357

You deserved it 3 448

andyourpointis 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:26

That's unfortunate. Allegedly, birthday sex involves the person whose birthday it is...

thinmint 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:36

Hey she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.

Comments

DrJDX 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:39

At least it didn't end with "And by restaurant, I mean my parents' house."

picturescrazy 24

Friday 18 December 2009 2:34

LOL, nice. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake...

schwinn11 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 23:00

I'll bet she was get'n it on with another girl, probably planning on having a threesome with you and the other girl. You, my friend are a lucky guy. Quit whining and and go get your birthday-3way!!!

mattbrady2011 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 1:11

can't tell if trolling or just stupid.

perdix 29

Thursday 17 December 2009 23:37

Was it spontaneous or was that part of your birthday present? In either case, didja make the girl a sammich?

GinterSauce 0

Friday 18 December 2009 4:08

wow what a *****

omghehehe 0

Friday 18 December 2009 5:22

Public bathroom sex is great!! Too bad it wasn't you. I think it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. Or maybe it was the wrong couple?? Wait...you only mentioned her being escorted out. Hmmm... the plot thickens.

perdix 29

Friday 18 December 2009 23:21

My guess is that she was trying to skip the check by jumping out of the bathroom window. However, she got stuck Winnie-the-Pooh-style and while she was in that vulnerable position, someone pulled down her drawers and rammed her from behind. It's just a theory. . .

the_editor 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 22:14

#22 haha omg you just made my day

omghehehe 0

Monday 21 December 2009 8:26

hehehe, plausible theory. Oh then, the relationship can possibly be salvaged because she didn't have sex intentionally, :) right?

Jim9349 10

Saturday 19 December 2009 3:51

Kinky little girl... dang she's naughty..

RaidenXS 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 6:38

damn dude. you just ruined my fkin day.

eric62086 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 7:00

Scandalous for sure!!!

kandam808 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 13:19

dude....wow FYL cuz your gf (hopefully now ex gf) is a total **** for having sex with a stranger and FYL again because it was your BIRTHDAY...im praying that this is a BS fml