Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
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Top comments
andyourpointis 0
That's unfortunate. Allegedly, birthday sex involves the person whose birthday it is...
thinmint 0
Hey she had to make some cash to pay for your dinner. Be more appreciative.
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Comments (59)
DrJDX 0
At least it didn't end with "And by restaurant, I mean my parents' house."
picturescrazy 24
LOL, nice. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake...
schwinn11 0
I'll bet she was get'n it on with another girl, probably planning on having a threesome with you and the other girl. You, my friend are a lucky guy. Quit whining and and go get your birthday-3way!!!
mattbrady2011 0
can't tell if trolling or just stupid.
perdix 31
Was it spontaneous or was that part of your birthday present? In either case, didja make the girl a sammich?
GinterSauce 0
wow what a *****
omghehehe 0
Public bathroom sex is great!! Too bad it wasn't you. I think it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. Or maybe it was the wrong couple?? Wait...you only mentioned her being escorted out. Hmmm... the plot thickens.
perdix 31
My guess is that she was trying to skip the check by jumping out of the bathroom window. However, she got stuck Winnie-the-Pooh-style and while she was in that vulnerable position, someone pulled down her drawers and rammed her from behind. It's just a theory. . .
the_editor 0
#22 haha omg you just made my day
omghehehe 0
hehehe, plausible theory. Oh then, the relationship can possibly be salvaged because she didn't have sex intentionally, :) right?
Jim9349 10
Kinky little girl... dang she's naughty..
RaidenXS 0
damn dude. you just ruined my fkin day.
eric62086 0
Scandalous for sure!!!
kandam808 0
dude....wow FYL cuz your gf (hopefully now ex gf) is a total **** for having sex with a stranger and FYL again because it was your BIRTHDAY...im praying that this is a BS fml
missbehaving 0
i imagine you had to then pay the bill...yeah fly