Geek: Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual... - FML

By BroadwayBaby1997 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

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There's no helping some people

BO Central

*Friends theme music plays*

By Hair problems

Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

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By ELK

Today, having played golf for 15 years, I had my first hole in one. I was playing by myself. There were no witnesses. FML

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By burgerpants - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to cheer myself up. The website I ordered from featured Instagram pics of their customers. My ex and the guy she cheated on me with were front and center. FML

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By Deweyboy - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

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By Cammi0 - United States

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

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By Username - France

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

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By grovage - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

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By Buzz

Today, I've been caffeine-free for 2 weeks. It's turned me into a constipated angry bitch. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2020 23:04

I need some me time

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a 3-hour trip because she needed a break from the baby and me. I forgot to mention who she went with: her ex. FML

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By jbhadafuckedupday

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

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By Ugh - United States - Washington

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML

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By tbee - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

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By sickatwokr - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

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By RAZR MeowMix - 30/1/2021 21:30

Kids these days…

Today, my youngest started playing Fortnite. My oldest has been playing competitively for a couple of years. My youngest is now addicted and needs a new computer to run it at max settings. I hate Fortnite. FML

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By seriously? - United States

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

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By smoothcoffee - Australia

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

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By SwingingGallows

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

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By Nigel - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

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By Paperboy - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Ilijas

Today, the highlight of my day was when I found that there was finally toilet paper in the cubicle at work. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Surprise

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

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By Pierceew - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

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By Natalie - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

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By nevaagain - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2020 20:01 - Malaysia

Little shit

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 year-old. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

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By Sarah - United States - Hampton Bays

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

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By rachiej8 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

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By Lunar-Spice - 7/11/2020 23:02

Happens at all ages

Today, my roommate had to ask to check if I was drinking water instead of alcohol. Twice. Then she 'suggested' that I 'might' be an alcoholic. I'm only 21. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Richmond

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 14:01

Slow moving accident

Today, I got into an accident, driving pretty slowly on a left turn signal trying to avoid a curb, sticking it out for too long, breaking a car's sideview mirror and causing scratches. The police was called. I have to appear in court for a misdemeanour for my first offence ever. Good bye student visa. FML

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By CaoiiBieber - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

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Top comments

By StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#6700386 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:06

Fictional characters are designed to appeal in many ways to their targeted audience. Humans are diverse and fluid creatures, not always in a good way, so you're situation is fairly understandable.

By WinterChild | 20

#6700385 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:04

Less chance of a broken heart I suppose.

COMMENTS

By hazzaisdabea | 8

#6700383 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:02

Same

By SwoopingEagle | 20

#6700384 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:03

I'm sure thousands of people have.

By WinterChild | 20

#6700385 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:04

Less chance of a broken heart I suppose.

Reply

ChildishPerson | 13

#6700403 - Saturday 8 October 2016 10:03

True. Unless said character ends up with someone in the series...

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#6700409 - Saturday 8 October 2016 10:34

Or if they're Game of Thrones characters.

Reply

TheLostCauseFML | 40

#6700436 - Saturday 8 October 2016 12:39

I couldn't agree more.

Reply

Catdragon | 40

#6700437 - Saturday 8 October 2016 12:40

You can always rewrite the story in your head to fit your needs so that they don't end up with anyone else

Reply

Nyattack | 14

#6700662 - Sunday 9 October 2016 0:11

The fact that said crushes don't actually exist could be pretty heartbreaking in itself !

By StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#6700386 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:06

Fictional characters are designed to appeal in many ways to their targeted audience. Humans are diverse and fluid creatures, not always in a good way, so you're situation is fairly understandable.

Reply

itzhazen | 3

#6701066 - Monday 10 October 2016 5:21

last time I saw you comment, people dislike what you had to say...lol

By hellnosucka | 27

#6700388 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:14

I relate to this on a spiritual, mental and physical level.

Reply

jakeSpn | 3

#6700546 - Saturday 8 October 2016 18:55

I relate to this on a supernatural lever

By xpsychocatladyx | 15

#6700389 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:19

I can relate

By peridoooooot | 6

#6700390 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:23

Same. My icon is my wife.

Reply

HylianBadger | 21

#6700703 - Sunday 9 October 2016 5:10

Maybe you should let her out. Lol

By DashPlays | 18

#6700395 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:40

That just means real people aren't up to par with them.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#6700399 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:49

I suppose some writers somewhere can feel pride in a job well done.

By ppap | 3

#6700400 - Saturday 8 October 2016 9:51

that moment when tumblr takes over fml ?