Geek: Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual... - FML

By BroadwayBaby1997 - 17/09/2016 15:26 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 349

You deserved it 2 557

Hiding from the drama

Dementia or hate? You decide

Late term

By what the fuck - 25/08/2013 19:28 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 2 707

By Noname - 18/02/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 729

You deserved it 3 665

Reluctant

By bruised - 15/08/2015 15:47 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 045

You deserved it 1 945

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Spicy

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 383

You deserved it 7 985

By IvyBlackeyes - 29/08/2018 01:30

Today, I sprained my ankle at dance class. No, I was not dancing when I did it. I was trying to step off on a small mat so I could go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 259

By wow - 08/11/2010 18:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 8 855

By iloveretail - 08/08/2016 19:14 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 802

You deserved it 798

Nice to know

By LyricalTragedy - 16/12/2016 00:08

Spicy

Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 988

You deserved it 722

Eyebleach

By Lexxxiii - 22/12/2020 23:02

Today, while delivering an Amazon package, I arrived to this one house where the man was outside, so I just handed it to him. As he was reaching for it, his robe popped open. Twice. He was wearing nothing but the robe, and he was your typical fat, hairy, 40-year-old man. My poor eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 129

By ohemgee23 - 19/02/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490

You deserved it 20 703

Burn out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 04:59

Today, I quit my job by insulting my manager - who is/was a friend, whose wedding I officiated - in full earshot of everyone. It turned into a pretty public argument on the street. I don’t really know why I did it, other than just feeling so burned out by his treatment of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 15:43 - United States - South Salem

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 820

You deserved it 7 417

By facepalm - 28/12/2009 10:35 - Singapore

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 126

You deserved it 12 886

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 17:09 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 249

You deserved it 30 121

By BatWife - 29/03/2017 19:00 - United States - New London

Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very dead, mummified bat. After chasing me around the house with it, he set it atop the mantel. He refuses to get rid of it, and calls it "Henry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 842

You deserved it 590

Alexa, play "People = Shit" by Slipknot

By Faktafem - 19/06/2019 23:55

Today, I went to use one of the toilets at work, where once again someone had not flushed their poo. I work at an institute for higher education, and this happens on a weekly basis, even during the summer when no students are around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 95

By loveyadad - 16/06/2013 15:46 - United States - Watertown

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 927

You deserved it 3 803

By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 186

You deserved it 6 631

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 839

You deserved it 4 265

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 10:53 - United States

Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 834

You deserved it 8 749

By Neutered - 27/11/2012 19:52 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 080

You deserved it 6 708

By Uneducated - 26/01/2019 20:00

Today, my dad informed me that I’d not be progressing into next year’s class because it’s a waste of money. But it’s fine because my twin will be learning for the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 153

Kids these days…

By RAZR MeowMix - 30/01/2021 21:30

Today, my youngest started playing Fortnite. My oldest has been playing competitively for a couple of years. My youngest is now addicted and needs a new computer to run it at max settings. I hate Fortnite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 443

Smoked

By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 11:01 - Canada

Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 18:16 - United States - Glendale

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 051

You deserved it 18 996

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 794

You deserved it 22 935

Lost

By James - 12/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Cirencester

Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 1 572

By Anonyme - 16/05/2014 07:55 - Canada - Saint-jean-de-matha

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 845

You deserved it 9 787

By cheshirealyce - 05/03/2015 17:36 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 531

You deserved it 2 806

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 530

You deserved it 9 942

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Spicy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 3 083

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 21:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 255

You deserved it 6 259

Single life

By idk what to do - 04/03/2021 00:30

Today, I'm 22 year-old woman, and my entire family thinks something is wrong with me because I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to believe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 124

By storrent - 05/10/2016 16:18 - United States - Houston

Today, I discovered that my band section had misspelled my name as "Joke" on our section poster. On purpose. It's supposed to be Jake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 544

You deserved it 797

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 690

You deserved it 8 535

By Bro - 25/03/2019 12:00

Today, I found out that my wife of five years is also my half-sister. She has no idea, I don't know how to tell her, and I've never been more turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 460

You deserved it 755

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 358

You deserved it 872

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Spicy

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 8 192

By a2 - 06/02/2014 06:57 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 962

You deserved it 8 221

Fault

By Bleh - 22/06/2021 05:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I accidentally let slip to my mom that I hardly remember the graduation party she threw me four years ago. She proceeded to verbally assault me for forgetting the special occasion. I had a brain complication two years ago which resulted in some memory loss. Apparently, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 59

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Top comments

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:06

Fictional characters are designed to appeal in many ways to their targeted audience. Humans are diverse and fluid creatures, not always in a good way, so you're situation is fairly understandable.

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:04

Less chance of a broken heart I suppose.

Comments

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:02

Same

SwoopingEagle 20

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:03

I'm sure thousands of people have.

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:04

Less chance of a broken heart I suppose.

ChildishPerson 13

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Saturday 8 October 2016 10:03

True. Unless said character ends up with someone in the series...

Lalala579121 27

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Saturday 8 October 2016 10:34

Or if they're Game of Thrones characters.

TheLostCauseFML 40

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Saturday 8 October 2016 12:39

I couldn't agree more.

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Saturday 8 October 2016 12:40

You can always rewrite the story in your head to fit your needs so that they don't end up with anyone else

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Sunday 9 October 2016 0:11

The fact that said crushes don't actually exist could be pretty heartbreaking in itself !

StormfrontX33_fml 24

Send a private message

Saturday 8 October 2016 9:06

Fictional characters are designed to appeal in many ways to their targeted audience. Humans are diverse and fluid creatures, not always in a good way, so you're situation is fairly understandable.

Send a private message

Monday 10 October 2016 5:21

last time I saw you comment, people dislike what you had to say...lol

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:14

I relate to this on a spiritual, mental and physical level.

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Saturday 8 October 2016 18:55

I relate to this on a supernatural lever

xpsychocatladyx 15

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:19

I can relate

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:23

Same. My icon is my wife.

HylianBadger 21

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Sunday 9 October 2016 5:10

Maybe you should let her out. Lol

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:40

That just means real people aren't up to par with them.

Dave_Davington 33

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:49

I suppose some writers somewhere can feel pride in a job well done.

ppap 3

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Saturday 8 October 2016 9:51

that moment when tumblr takes over fml ?

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 8

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 19

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 104

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 229