By mark - 05/03/2012 22:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 211
You deserved it 29 139

Same thing different taste

Top comments


I feel extremely sad for the robbed man :(

darien987 1

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SesameSpeed 7

Your girlfriend sounds like an awful person. Like a terrible human being. Sigh :(

No worries, the man to clarify is here. So, this one day, a girfriend was taken by his anniversary to a wonderful restroom. When the dinner left the table to get an AWOL, the the restaurant across the wallet swiped OP's gonads, and the boyfriend got to eat his taco after all. I hope that answers anyones questions.

Yup. Dump her ass right now. Or don't you have the balls for that too OP?

I wonder what that poor guy did, I mean you were at a nice restaurant and I assume he had already ordered and eaten or was in the process of eating. Then he finds out he can't pay for the meal because some bitch and her boyfriend stole his wallet.

ThatLSUFan 4

You gotta keep your pimp hand strong and teach that bitch what's right and wrong

Toddle 7

You need to man up homeboy.

Im going out on a limb here, but im guessing that he worked hard for his money and u should be a good person and make ur girlfriend return it, and of u ever breakup I suggest u horde all valuable things, just in case:-P !

So anybody wanna tell me why I can't un-hide my profile no matter how many times I smash my computer with my metal baseball bat? I mean, I've tried welding it, cussing it out and even singing Justina Bieber songs to it, but it's just not working. I know that many of you probably don't know the answer so I'm hoping a mod will give me a link to that page/site that I absolutely cannot remember the name of.

@KeyboardWarrior: On the website —

kiran_fml 5

If the FML was written from the point of view of the robbed guy, everyone would say YDI for leaving your wallet on the table.

GwennaRose 22

This is the best comment ever!

GwennaRose 22

Yellow Dandelion Intimidator

Blackmail111 9

The FML moderators are f****** epic!

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

*creeper voice* I still can't see your profile 113.

holly1398 5

why? he's stupid enough to leave his wallet on the table, it should be stolen!

blackheart24 10

103- I thumbed your comment down just because of your profile name.

Yeah OP. **** YOUR life, because this is so hard for YOU.

Is no one else wondering why he even left his wallet on the table in the first place???? She was wrong but from his point of view, he deserved it!

"I suggest u horde all valuable things." FOR THE HORDE! /trollface

My earlier commet goes to 103 and 106 if you give a :)

i cant figure out how to thumbs down this but i would

The_madmax 23

#73 the Man didn't do anything wrong except for not returning it, the girlfriend is the one who stole it.

sceptic 1

Hehe why not say it in english :)

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Man, If there is one thing that I've learned in life, it's to stand up for what you know and believe to be right. I'm sure you'll do the right thing next time dude.

smiles2334 0

Def Awk! (definately awkward)

What's the point of writing the "short form" (which is stupid anyway) if you are going to write it out fully as well?

Bitches be crazy...dudes be *******. I believe that sums up this story.

129- Because "Def Awk" sounds like "Dafuq". Geddit?

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

I thought it was 'the ****'.. Ehh what do i know..

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What does Google mean? Where am I? Who are you people?

Gonads are testicles and AWOL is a military term which stands for "absent without official leave."

poor Bunny! Goggle is amazing for such questions, but because I'm feeling nice... Gonads= a term to describe courage/guts/balls, etc. AWOL= away without leave.

shankle1234 0

Sorry about repeating what everyone above me practically said (minus the Goggle instead of Google part). *Walks away in Shame*

Angry Walruses Outside Louisiana. gonads is a hipster term for a napkin

Close, but it's Americen Whales Over Loads. You were right on the Napkins though.

Amazing waffles on leashes. At least I tried!! Don't thumb me down ):

flockz 19

anacondas with ovary leeches.

arcanevandal 0

Alien Wieners Outside London

bizarre_ftw 21

Why are u on fml if u don't know those 2 kindergarten terms? -.-

Why r u on FML if u cnt even type full wrds??1

McMan, some people aren't actually from America, you know. You people don't cover half the world like you think. And I don't care if I get thumbed down.

The_Troller 14

What was the purpose of that comment?

gonads means wallet and awol means was stolen by some skanky bitch

OH I thought it meant, like, his nuts were going crazy. I was like, did you soil yourself? Bahaha! Okay I get it now.

SALthe3rd 4

What a kleptomaniac ho. YDI ya shoulda called her out on it. You need to drop that girl.

Gonads, balls, sack, English tea bags, nuts, jelly beans- now I've heard them all.

Don't forget nads and nards, short for gonads.

5, They deserve more than just our mockery. This idiot is pathetic, and I can't imagine a situation where anyone would vote FYL. The least this moron could do is take the time to get his head out of his ass, use the ID in the wallet to contact the guy and return it to him - with the money still inside. This would of course be following a really long argument with your girlfriend on how much of a colossal twat she is, and threatening to call the police if she doesn't let you return it, before walking out on her pathetic ass and never looking back. The fact that you used the words "my girlfriend" in this FML tells me you really are the worlds biggest sucker.

I wish I could thumbs up #206 a million times. My thoughts exactly. Them I'd hide my valuables.

Your gonads were probably already hiding in her purse. Which she probably had also stolen.

Best comment I have seen in a while.

Redoxx_fml 22

Let's just hope his sense of humor isn't MIA

Makes me think, if she can do that to some poor stranger, You should wonder about the things she might be doing to you.

162- it's easier to hurt someone you don't know then someone you do.

Redoxx_fml 22

169-It's quite the opposite

stormer461 13

Sounds like she has bigger balls than you.

Blame it on the planetary alignment? ...or on the alcohol?....Nah, that was shitty of her no matter the reason. But YDI for not saying something, anything. Bad OP, very bad!!!

btnhdude 0

I blame it on global warming, the economy, China, Obama, Romney, and the fact that 12/21/12 is near.

You deserved it. Try google next time?

I thought YDI stood for Your Dumb Indeed. You just mind ****** me.

TheFamilyElf 17

You've been together long enough to have an anniversary and you're not used to this kind of behavior? Man... You think you know someone. Come on dude. Be a man.