Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friends and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
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Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
Give him a ride to a gay bar far out of town and leave him there.
Dotell95 3
Tell him you can't because your busy studying
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Comments (159)
Lolpizza_fml 0
omg im so sorry! thats horrible! :(
xCajunGurlx 0
and his ass would have stayed there!!
cc_the_beast 6
Whadda ****
hottiebrunette 0
its almost July and you're still not done with school? stupid af
outsidehitter7 9
please tell me u left his sorry ass in the middle of no where and drove off...if ur still with this kid...u def deserve it!!!
shaubygal 11
say no ur an ass and dump him
leprechaun23 15
wats GMH?
sickofthis2424 0
Today, while masturbating butt-dialed my girlfriend's moms cell phone. she never looked me in the eye the same after that.
ladybuz 0
Give Him An Early Birthday Present...Dump His Ass.?!
jackflash19 1
rather dump his ass SIS. who says 'dump his ass bro' to a chick?..... but yes, he's a loser. you're not mounting that catch to the wall anytime soon. Throw him back and keep fishing!