Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML
Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CareFace 16
Best present EVARRR. That's the price you gotta pay for putting her naughty spot in a world of pain. :)
MarkFeehily 0
happy birthday! :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
hypnotiq_trini 0
wow...fyl, but if it's cause she REALLY needs it then fhl, because after all who wants to have to borrow money from their kids?
marinus_fml 20
Happy ******* birthday you little whiner. Did you turn 7?
longboarder95 0
lol
j_cat187 20
sarcasm ftw
deafeningsilence 8
Sarcasm doesn't transfer well over the Internet. It just makes you sound like a dick.
Krista835 5
Hey I bet she spent way more than $300 raising you so don't complain :P
ramboman19 8
looks like mothers day came early for you..
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
WTF is all this crap about OP being "ungrateful", or "at least she is coming over to see you"... she wants his money! Tell her "it's in the mail", and go out on the town with the $300..... save a few bucks to give to your mom to stuff in her pocket when u give her a hug!!!! (The next day)
mrahhhhh 21
You should tell your mom that you're planning on turning that into a set of burglary tools to steal a huge cigar. Or a set of stilts for your son. Or you're gonna drink 100 cups of coffee and then... all will be revealed! One of you motherfuckers better get the above reference, or these 5 internets I'm planning to award to the winner will have to go into my online cocaine habit.
dgr8ing 0
FUTURAMA 300 BIG BOYS I LOVE THAT ONE remember when fry goes all woosh woosh and saves the day, itstoo bad ge didn't get recognized for that.
haileemarie7 6
haha futurama ftw
BenderJ_fml 5
Yep, that cigar suuuure was nice!
benderbot19 0
I got it. but I don't like being called a ************.
bubblekitty 1
my dad use to always tell me that for my bday he is gonna give me 100 dollars from my wallet
LuckyLogic 0
shouldn't of shared the koolaid.
chino627 0
I got a dead beat biological mom know how u feel bro
BigKatt 1
I owe the world to my mom. had a great childhood, and had everything I needed. $300 to help out, not even a question...
cmyk 19
depends if this is a regular thing or not. if mummy is in need, fine, but it sure dosent sound like it.. sounds like mum here does this often or it wouldnt be a FML..