Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
love15_fml 8
Make her an ex ASAP. And make her replace everything she broke.
Shoopman 0
You need to assassinate her right now. With a shotgun. In the face.
GrapefruitZoe 0
You can press charges, you know...
Minstrels 0
Okay. Any one who does that over a ******* ambiguous voice message is crazy . She didn't ask you, and I don't care what could have done that she thought you did, there's no reason to **** with someone's shit like that. Bitch is a crazy ass ******. You make HER the ex, and make her pay for all the shit she broke. What a ****.
taden 0
all i got to say is " BRING HER ASS TO COURT!!!!" man, make her pay for all that shit cuz i know if that was me i would feel like killing somone
kel23 0
death
Snackbars 0
Woah, who the hell feels the need to do something like that in that kind of situation? And does she /have/ the permission to listen to your messages? She's insecure and over jealous, you don't need that. So yeah, fyl.
danceydancetime 0
GET HER BACK
Hacksaw 4
Sue the **** out of her and get a new girlfriend.
JVonDahl 9
You deserved it. Sounds like you didn't even take your girlfriend out with you, so...yeah. Totally had that coming.