Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML
Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML
Today, I threw a party. My drunk boyfriend decided to bring my 50-inch flatscreen TV downstairs from our bedroom. The TV didn't make it. FML
Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML
Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
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Top comments
simplyabsurd 0
I suggest ditching the psycho. A 42" plasma? I certainly hope she's going to buy you a new one. But my guess is she doesn't even have a job. Just because it has legs and talks doesn't mean it's worth dating.
deaditegirl 0
Well, now maybe you can get a girlfriend who is slightly less crazy...
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Comments (376)
ConnerFoSho 0
Dump her. Seriously..
PenisLightning 0
She sounds like an animal in the sack. Word.
shmaller 0
What a ******* psycho.
trackrunner525 0
definitely sue the bitch...over-jealous women are such a hassle and wow #124..."my boyfriend didn't spend every last minute with me, I think i'll smash all his shit"
wet_feet 0
******* dump her dude, if she's that much of a stupid ****, she's not worth it.
fmlbaby_fml 0
Time to dump her... She didn't even approach you about said "****"? What a bat shit crazy broad you are dating!
kaitlynadele 0
What a bitch. I hope you dumped her ass. What kind of psycho girlfriend wouldn't confront you about it before breaking everything you own?
FoundManyLemons 0
Regardless of whether your mom is a **** or not (she is, of course :-P) you need to DTMFA and drag her ass into court.
p_knicker 0
an answering machine? not voice mail? and yet you have a plasma t.v. weird.
Aera_fml 0
This is why you don't date stupid people. This is also why you make sure that you and your girlfriend trust one another. I'd say YDI, but she seems like a psycho bitch. Poor judgment on your part, but still --- FYL. Happy Birthday?