Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
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Top comments
Serial 2
psh, take it for a spin anyway
kellster 2
Why would they give you such an expensive car??? Buy your own car, you're an adult!
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Comments (208)
chizzil 0
Holy ****. We have the same birthday.
poeticvibez07 0
lololol that was mean.... FUNNY.... but mean
Brouhaha_fml 0
wow, your life sucks so badly
jenniferxxlou 0
lol. um sorry:) but that's funny:)
SupermanXL 3
awesome dad.
YZ_fml 3
Why do dads always do this? They need to learn that it's NOT FUNNY!
Hard_Luck_Aussie 4
parenting EPIC WIN
crawfordjs54 0
idiot. unless you're a spoiled little bitch man (or woman) the **** up and be grateful for what you already have and quit expecting the world to shit presents in your lap
syed121417 22
Maybe you should read OP's follow up comments before assuming things lol
crawfordjs54 0
also, after reading your responses and many other comments, I have to agree that 1. if you weren't mad this isn't an FML. I mean if you're gonna post a "**** my life" story you have to at least have a reason to be pissed about your life. and 2. ending it with "thanks dad" sounds pretty bitter and goes against your "I wasn't mad" schtick.
syed121417 22
You obviously have no sense of humor. Many times authors aren't genuinely mad and they find what happened as funny, and that's why they post it. Why don't you believe that?
EPICROCKERNINJA 8
LOL (falls on the floor laughing) That is so messed up..