Why do you think s/he can't land a permanent job? I joke, I joke

Wow good first comment really took advantage of that one.

Wow, nice face, really took advantage of the "ass" portion. Not every first comment has to be comedy gold.

are we really going to get into the semantics of first comments on FML? all the comments suck.

#1 there are a number of things that could happen to OP thats worse. For example, the OP could be hit by a bus.

I feel like this would happen to me because im majoring in biology and i dont look "smart". sorry OP, people probably assume your "stupid" because of your appearance. Don't let it get to you ;)

You mean if they ARE smart?

Except, you may have noticed, the op didn't directly quote the substitute. Now, because the op is telling a story in the past tense, not only is the open correct in using the word was, but both your attempt to insult op and be funny have severely failed. FYL.

op*

Kingdomgirl - A thousand pardons for my transgression. I can only hope that someday I can find peace despite your accusation of my wretched failure. I was merely making a joke, something I clearly should never have attempted. I cannot bear that shame any longer, so I shall now leave FML, never to comment again.

*glares at Baustigt* Yes. Too soon... Um, I mean GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD! FAREWELL!

Awww yiss, my time to shine. I mean you will be sorely missed our legendary compadre, my you be blessed with a thousand successful anal cavity operations and a happy life...

No

Time to commit seppuko, Doc.

Agreed

12 - Technically Docbastard said 'if you were smart' and 'you'd have been'. Both past tense so grammatically correct.

you have grammar issues as well

There you go again, DocBastard, making everybody laugh. Including the class.

one can dream :) oh also what exactly is calculus? cause at my school easy maths was "further maths" and hard maths was "maths methods"

Calculus is this math thing that was created so that while you're sitting on the tree branch watching the boy you just kissed fall to the ground as the sun sets behind you, you can calculate exactly how fast he is falling, and the rate of change of his velocity. You can also calculate how quickly the shadow of the tree is increasing as the angle of elevation of the sun decreases as it sets. Calculus is fun.

I see... now i'm more confused.

probably maths methods

It deals with derivatives and tangent lines and rates of change. It's considered to be hard but it's not too bad. A lot of algebra and very mechanical but very applicable math. When asked how calculus will ever help us in life, my teacher demonstrated by having us calculate the velocity of a falling boulder to determine if it would crush the person standing beneath it. Gotta love math.

I'd just tell the person under the boulder to move, rather than do the math. Just saying I don't think that's a good example of using calculus in everyday life. Calculating how quickly you must accelerate when the light turns green to make the next light before it turns red, that's good calculus.

ahhh I see thanks for clearing that up.

Obviously it's not realistic, but it made the class laugh and appealed to this kid's weird sense of humor and it was a good way to remember the process later on for similar problems. I'll remember the boulder falling example much more easily than I would a generic example, like how fast a container's volume is increasing as water is poured into it.

Dude calculus is hard

Um... What??

lol look in a thesaurus I'm pretty sure smart and intelligent mean the same thing

I don't see "lol" in the thesaurus though.

yea, but it was a substitute teacher and what do they know?

?*, you're*, Which*, doesn't*, .* You aren't putting up much of a valid argument for yourself OR your generation.

Shut up at least my generation knew how to fight for are nation little girl saying my generation didn't have calculus in school is irrelevant to what your saying so sit back on your wannabe high horse and be quiet

My feelings, they're hurt. I won't be able to show my face now that I've been called a little girl. Oh, before I forget: our* and you're*. Actually, there are so many errors in your comment that I'm not even going to list them all.

Calculus has been an optional in school since the 60s how old are you? Over 70?

Wow your a smartass!!! Get a life!

And not all states have it in there schools! My high school you only needed to take one math semester to graduate

A bit late for that don't you think?

I stun people with my stupidity all the time. They just stop and stare at me with open mouths whenever I walk past. The military is looking into using me as the next "weapon of the future".

The government doesn't need you! They'll just hit someone with the cancer satellite, so your services won't be required. Now I'm going to put on my tin foil hat and aim my shotgun at the door whenever the government decides that they're done spying on me through my microwave. TALLY HO