Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying." I get there and he's running around, playing, and admitted that he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
What a prick!
futtbuck101 1
F your sons life.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
paulinec213 3
Well I guess desperate times call for desperate measures...
Madkitty2403 1
I do not recemend going into cacti garden :p
michi23 0
Well thats ironic
RakaI 8
What did Monica say?
danielxp 0
That's a smart kid.
divadro102 16
He knows the way of the thorn
Superllama12 11
"Today, to avoid going to the doctor (which I'm terrified of), I ran to hide. In a cactus garden. FML" Wow, that really sucks for both of you
Miscellaneous519 2
Actually this isn't smart at all. Think about it, if you're trying to avoid going to the doctor, why would you hide in a place (like a cactus garden) where you could potentially hurt yourself and send yourself to the doctor?
kitsune3 20
Well, OP did say he's little. Little kids tend not to think things through.
gemsherin 2
ha ha ha i can feel that coz i remember my daughter doing something like that and she also acts that she has gotten better
Maricrishobbs 0
Ouch!!!