Love: Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look...

By Kevin - 09/09/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 42 932

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Same thing different taste

By insurgent - 03/05/2016 08:31 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 553

You deserved it 2 069

By Anon - 14/08/2016 10:58 - United States - Tracy

Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 474

You deserved it 1 377

By Emily - 21/09/2012 01:39 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 164

You deserved it 1 996

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 904

You deserved it 46 459

By Casden - 13/09/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 210

You deserved it 3 547

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, while driving, I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 968

You deserved it 66 576

By sad - 24/04/2009 08:18 - United States

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 264

You deserved it 3 958

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 295

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 04:24 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 584

You deserved it 11 936

By Jodie - 03/02/2012 12:48 - Australia

Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abuse from a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 50 251

SimmoRocks 1

Friday 9 September 2011 15:59

Your NECK?

GrammarNaziFTW 0

Friday 9 September 2011 16:04

Yeah because whenever I hit on somebody, my first instinct is to write my number on their neck.

Comments

jojoede3 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:26

How did you do to even write on your neck?

SmittyJA24 26

Sunday 11 September 2011 1:27

To the OP: WHY? This one is totally ******* nonsense; the moderators never should have let this one through.

lilginggaa 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 3:46

I don't get it..

max13_fml 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 6:58

weak! go out and actually get some do not fake it that is freaking desperate

cooliogrl562 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 7:51

Who the he'll does that?

denvan 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:34

At least you didn't get in a fight with the vacuum to get a fake hickey

denvan 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:57

Next time write it in your penis, it can't boost your ego

FMLinCA 12

Monday 12 September 2011 8:02

on your neck? lol. laaaame. who does that anyway? and again, the neck?!

mwolverine 1

Monday 12 September 2011 12:22

okay...?

Cave_Johnson 6

Monday 12 September 2011 21:46

Now, what if you ran into the person who had that number? THAT would be funny! XD

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 7 094

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Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 631

You deserved it 36 012

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 973

You deserved it 9 531

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 419

You deserved it 4 013

Today, I had a teaching job interview. After giving my demo lesson, I was told by the director that I had given it on the wrong topic. Turns out, I never got the e-mail with the instructions for the interview. Now I'm definitely not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 325

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 852

Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 999

You deserved it 2 099

Same thing different taste

Fake it til you make it

Denied

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