By FML Videos - United States - New York Back Rub Struggles Get back to work, you! 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Señor Guapo - United States Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML I agree, your life sucks 31630 You deserved it 45323 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 63358 You deserved it 3830 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Minneapolis Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML I agree, your life sucks 40275 You deserved it 5675 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whoopsie - United States Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML I agree, your life sucks 27832 You deserved it 3343 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Indonesia Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML I agree, your life sucks 36884 You deserved it 3435 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 50723 You deserved it 7757 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML I agree, your life sucks 30274 You deserved it 5225 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kit_kat14 - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML I agree, your life sucks 25387 You deserved it 4854 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kmjlevesque - 3/6/2020 02:00 Bye bye clothes Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1539 You deserved it 267 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mud - United States - Raleigh Slippy! Today, I was on my way to class and it was muddy outside, so I slipped and it looks like I shit myself. I'm wearing white pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1806 You deserved it 572 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarad206 - United States Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML I agree, your life sucks 41362 You deserved it 3814 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neuroticallyours - United States Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML I agree, your life sucks 38020 You deserved it 5921 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dollybabe - Ireland Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML I agree, your life sucks 33586 You deserved it 11646 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hannah - United States Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML I agree, your life sucks 28743 You deserved it 4432 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Loose Ends - United States - Waltham Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 14085 You deserved it 2762 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ruserious - Australia - Sydney Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML I agree, your life sucks 33407 You deserved it 2253 264 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By happybirthday - United Kingdom Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML I agree, your life sucks 34527 You deserved it 2847 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bl3ur0z3 The luck of the draw Today, my supervisor was in a leadership meeting pulling random calls for quality. Mine was chosen. He got excited and told them my stats and how I put him to shame with how I drive my team, that I'm the best and this call is going to be amazing. I was then written up for arguing with a customer. FML I agree, your life sucks 1371 You deserved it 336 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sosad Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML I agree, your life sucks 53300 You deserved it 3639 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vintage_vogue - United States Today, I had a coffee date. The guy was waiting with coffee to meet me on the patio. I walked up to him, caught my favorite pendant necklace on the table, broke the necklace trying to get it free, and rattled the table so intensely that the guy's coffee spilled all over him. FML I agree, your life sucks 38126 You deserved it 7403 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML I agree, your life sucks 28090 You deserved it 2653 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Whitecourt Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML I agree, your life sucks 41330 You deserved it 3007 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 28350 You deserved it 10174 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike - United States Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 30261 You deserved it 2972 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Smash_Mouth - United States Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML I agree, your life sucks 10532 You deserved it 86657 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By littl3storm - 11/7/2020 08:08 Dad of the month Today, I found out that my 'dad', the man who couldn't afford to buy me a bed, despite sleeping on the floor for 3+ years, has spent well over $3000 on sex chat lines, as well as cheating us out of child payments. He doesn't understand why I refuse to talk to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1999 You deserved it 94 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mysterygurll1234567 - United States Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 32611 You deserved it 3692 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous And next on The Voice… Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML I agree, your life sucks 1850 You deserved it 225 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tireedddddd - United States Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML I agree, your life sucks 27027 You deserved it 2472 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peeved - United States Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 30358 You deserved it 5836 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By corey - United States Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML I agree, your life sucks 30162 You deserved it 2317 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Darwin_Award_Winner - United States - Beaumont Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML I agree, your life sucks 7686 You deserved it 36173 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugh - United States - Dublin Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML I agree, your life sucks 32730 You deserved it 9802 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EmoToyBoy - 30/4/2020 14:00 Spiritual connection Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML I agree, your life sucks 1957 You deserved it 379 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blaahh - United States Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 31363 You deserved it 17622 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesspie - United Kingdom Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 19216 You deserved it 38153 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aloha - France Today, I landed in Hawaii for my vacation. I have a really bad ear infection, and to top my day off, my girlfriend blurted out mid-flight that she thinks we're not going to work out. Aloha! FML I agree, your life sucks 31109 You deserved it 2164 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Murfreesboro Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML I agree, your life sucks 38546 You deserved it 3108 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily - United States Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 13228 You deserved it 147150 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StillPissedOffAtIrony - United States - Hialeah Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML I agree, your life sucks 49154 You deserved it 3740 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Veroswen | 3 #7710268 - Wednesday 17 October 2018 20:46 That's almost too adorable. I'm hitting 'You deserve it', because he does deserve the pets. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By melisssa87 | 30 #7710362 - Thursday 18 October 2018 1:33 It’s cute but his long claws freaks me out if he doesn’t get what he wants Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Veroswen | 3 #7710268 - Wednesday 17 October 2018 20:46 That's almost too adorable. I'm hitting 'You deserve it', because he does deserve the pets. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By melisssa87 | 30 #7710362 - Thursday 18 October 2018 1:33 It’s cute but his long claws freaks me out if he doesn’t get what he wants Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 635 You deserved it 187 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1126 You deserved it 173 11 Comments