Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML
Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML
Today, I got slut-shamed by a guy in a 7-Eleven for having a face tattoo. A.) It's a birthmark; B.) I'm 15 and look it; C.) This happens a lot, and D.) I was wearing a full body winter coat and all he could see was my face. FML
Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML
Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML
Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
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Top comments
amandam21 9
Well, you can't blame them. Nobody likes a belieber. Can you get the tattoo removed or something?
JennaNGood 21
As far as most Canadians are concerned, he isn't considered one of us anymore. Just a clarification. No one likes that little fucknugget.
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Comments (198)
parabel 12
Céline Dion?
Murkyy 15
My friend has the same problem with his chest tattoo, "You only live once".
Demoniq 25
Mitch Lucker!!! :D Among the 100's of other public figures who said that as well, that is.
elevenseasons 9
how a tanktop becomes a fucktop situation.
madeline9322 17
It's not our fault he's such a douche, sorry about your tattoo :/
FUCKTARD_HATER 15
As a Canadian I apologies that this abomination made it out of my country I am ashamed.
StressedDesserts 17
Line the outline with lipstick and then cover with foundation and concealer if it bothers you
chitochito 17
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