Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML
Today I got a call from my daughter's school, because she claimed that she couldn't see out of her right eye. I panicked and went to pick her up. On the way to the emergency room, she turns to me and says, "I'm fine. I didn't want to take a test." FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
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Top comments
PolBig123 0
use an eye patch :D it works well to hide your eyes, AND you look like a pirate!! Arrrr!!
mintcar 10
You woke up one day to your ****** almost swollen shut? Almost as scary as ****** with teeth.
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Comments (59)
enonymous 9
Were you singing "in the air tonight" by Phil Collins with Mike Tyson ? Happened to me in Vegas once with my wolfpack
amerwin 3
Did someone fart on your pillow?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Eye really don't see the problem hear, but I feel hungry. Who nose anythin' good to eat?
rends 0
I see what you did there.
ImInABox 6
So now pimples are not the only thing swollen on your face? Did anyone notice zit? Woop. Bad pun right thar.
mintcar 10
You shouldn't go to school. If I were you, I'd stay home, **********, relax and watch Daria all day.
smartdumbass 0
that's almost what I use to do except it was **********, relax, and then repeat over and over again, had a lot of swollen eyes during high school
lsinc20 5
yea when I felt sick or had a black eye I missed school and had a bat! :)
mintcar 10
You shouldn't go to school. If I were you, I'd stay home, **********, relax and watch Daria all day.
mattfim 0
marry me
kristalove 4
aDz 0{{0/4
Devin91 20
well that's an odd sight.
sterlingarcher 1
lol... :D
killahkrissy 0
I could only imagine. lol
madeingeorgia 0
My mom would never say something like that, she loves me!
esu 5
lucky you
NaoPudding 8
Wear an eyepatch and claim you're a pirate. It's what I would do.
lsinc20 5
but that's u not everyone likes to do that! :)
emsiti 6
i do
briidontgive_ 0
But WHY was it swollen ?