Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
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Top comments
ajilon7 17
I feel bad for laughing...
Chiroptera_Man 10
I guess those ants are a real buzzkill :3
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Comments (80)
buckdharma 38
Mandible you must be putting up with. (That was really bad, wasn't it?)
PenguinBitch 44
It was sooooooo bad, I still don't know what you meant.
ImTheAlpha 30
Penguin, I think he was referring to "Man, the bull" with "mandible".
PresidentNorth 16
mandible is a chin I do t think we all fully understand bug anatomy.
DestinyNiya 33
The ants remind me of the movie ' the maid's room '. Saw it earlier today.
aire101 16
...seriously? You're a delicate little flower aren't you?
magickitten 26
#13 - that really made me chuckle! I don't care that I'm going to get thumbed down now...
GlasgowSneer 13
I probably would've passed out. I can't stand seeing a group of ants in a single place. My nose gets stuffy / runny and my skin gets itchy everywhere. Even the mere thought of it is having that same effect on me. I'm sorry you had to see that, OP.
Ravike 17
In one word : overreacting
swedeNix 13
Another word: fobia
GlasgowSneer 13
Excuse me for my body reacting by itself.
Tipperson 8
The right version of another word: Phobia
amansingh 8
Don't worry Glasgow, they all say that until a group of ants are walking literally a foot away from their bed. As for the rest of you clowns shouting phobia....phobias are deadly, not irritating...get your facts right. don't embarrass yourselves...(for the future, too late for that now).. :-)
Rababco 29
@61 Phobias aren't normally deadly. Otherwise, everyone who has a phobia of spiders would be dead because they saw a spider.
zdane 9
They prob wanna get at the fly before u did...
Just_A_Tree 20
Did they attempt to carry you away and into their home while Indiana Jones was being saved from the ants because of the Crystal Skull?
Eivana 37
There are a lot more people who would scream at the sight than I would have expected...
Cheezits4dayz 14
Well he WAS right, if your sister was a fly.
annarcheer 19
ewwwwww
wanted_2_want 40
Hey Nancy, Man up!!