By Nile - 08/12/2015 17:21 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 802
You deserved it 2 821

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Maybe that's her way of saying she might want out soon.. Watch out OP.

Maybe she should of made that clear before creating a family and life with you? Just a thought.

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Maybe that's her way of saying she might want out soon.. Watch out OP.

Out how...

She is going to leave him.

Well, that's cynical. Even by my standards. She might just be one of those people who refuse to let a piece of paper dictate their lives. I personally cannot understand it, but I'd go with it. Cheaper, anyway.

Maybe she thinks marriage feels like a trap. I'm by trap I mean yes you would be really tied down because if you guys would separate know, it would be hard but if you got married in separated it would be orders of magnitude harder. The point is, even though it may not be coming to that, she may still fear the commitment

I agree with 2. It sounds to me like she wants an out, and feels she won't have that if she gets married. If it was because she didn't believe in marriage and felt it was just a paper, then she would've said that. Instead she chose words "tied down for the rest of her life" which imply she doesn't want the commitment, and wants a way out. I'd be a bit worried if I was op and get down to the root of the real issue.

Keep an eye on that joint account OP, if the money suddenly disappears along with her, you may find yourself with a mortgage and no money.

That sucks, OP. Hopefully she comes around eventually!

From this point of view she seem to have hesitated when you said it because a whole wedding is a big thing and some people might not like all the focus on them, maybe it's just not for her

I think she just didn't want to get married, in most places a wedding can be as big or as small of a thing as you want.

They don't even have to have a wedding. They can be married in the court house. At least they would be getting tax relief

You don't have to be married to file taxes together. It just falls into common law marriage.

Except this fml doesn't take place in the states. It says Netherlands, which might have different marriage laws.

It could be the thought of commitment that scares her. Try talking to her about it. Good luck, OP!

I think a child is a bigger commitment than marriage.

leogachi 15

@11 100% agreed

I said THE THOUGHT of commitment.. not that she wasn't already committed.

That makes no sense.

not just A child, #11, but THREE....and a joint mortgage!

Actually I think what #5 is saying makes 100% total sense. Yeah she is committed now, but she is committed by her own free will, which means she can change her mind if she wants to. If she gets married then she's legally committed and that's a whole other story. Chances are that's what she's afraid of, and she probably doesn't have any plans to leave.

Thank you, sir for your formal understanding.

She can't change her mind about the kids.

That's kind of worrying. Best keep an eye out.

So you're already married

Sounds like a common law marriage in the US to me. But I don't know the law of the Netherlands.

Not all states in the U.S have the common law either.

#27 in the Netherlands if you live together and have a child together you can definitely be seen as fiscal partners. so fiscally they could count as married.

Maybe she should of made that clear before creating a family and life with you? Just a thought.

Maybe she thought you were joking

Why would he be joking. They've been together for at least 3 years and have 3 children.

That must suck, but this needs a follow up... I must hear the rest

She might do a midnight run