By Nile - Netherlands - Amsterdam
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML
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  Mathalamus  |  24

Well, that's cynical. Even by my standards. She might just be one of those people who refuse to let a piece of paper dictate their lives.

I personally cannot understand it, but I'd go with it. Cheaper, anyway.

  enginsteve  |  17

Maybe she thinks marriage feels like a trap. I'm by trap I mean yes you would be really tied down because if you guys would separate know, it would be hard but if you got married in separated it would be orders of magnitude harder. The point is, even though it may not be coming to that, she may still fear the commitment

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

I agree with 2. It sounds to me like she wants an out, and feels she won't have that if she gets married. If it was because she didn't believe in marriage and felt it was just a paper, then she would've said that. Instead she chose words "tied down for the rest of her life" which imply she doesn't want the commitment, and wants a way out. I'd be a bit worried if I was op and get down to the root of the real issue.

By  Adam_Power58  |  16

From this point of view she seem to have hesitated when you said it because a whole wedding is a big thing and some people might not like all the focus on them, maybe it's just not for her

  leogachi  |  15

@11 100% agreed

  enginsteve  |  17

Actually I think what #5 is saying makes 100% total sense. Yeah she is committed now, but she is committed by her own free will, which means she can change her mind if she wants to. If she gets married then she's legally committed and that's a whole other story. Chances are that's what she's afraid of, and she probably doesn't have any plans to leave.

  Anikaaaaa  |  31

#27 in the Netherlands if you live together and have a child together you can definitely be seen as fiscal partners. so fiscally they could count as married.