Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
madmikemiller 6
Kinda is
bfrench95 0
You should have yelled "BABY KILLER" then headbutt his nutsack :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (307)
_Oblivion_ 12
He made the comment from a logical point of view. He wasn't trying to be funny, he simply said that the friend shouldn't have teabagged your face if he knew you wouldn't like it. Why is it so damn hard to give people a break and express their opinions.
downtime 13
69 I thumbed you down because your argument was stupid. If every single entertaining stunt had to be a well thought out masterpiece there would be very little humour in the world. You don't have to find it funny, personlly I think its a waste of time and an douchey thing to do, its your argument that doesn't hold water. By the way, 18 and 23, just because someone says something that doesn't consist of a random string of poorly spelt words with the word "bro" chucked in on the end it doesn't mean theyre trying to "sound smart". Some people can still take a joke without having to push aside their ability to think, others like yourselves seem to have to push it aside so you can remember to breathe.
zenrael 21
23, How is what he's satin clever? He sounds just as dumb as u.
Vrb1981 0
That's not funny. It's FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!!
matthew24997 0
Hey you got dinner and scared for life
hateevryone 15
they planned to do that.
Funnywayz 0
Mmm.... Yum?
shaunababy 0
That made me laugh for a long time.
freakguy455 0
Apparently your roommate is a FAG. Why else would he put his nut sack in your face? Teabagging isn't funny, it's gay.
TwistedFury25 4
#2 You are a tool. FYL.