Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
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Top comments
madmikemiller 6
Kinda is
bfrench95 0
You should have yelled "BABY KILLER" then headbutt his nutsack :)
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Comments (307)
loserman67 36
I hope that was followed by your fist going directly into his ball sack numerous times!
akito11 5
Time to chop em off...
laden_swallow09 35
184 - You don't even know what being a "tool" is. Eff YOUR ell.
mirag 0
Or perhaps they just thumbed him down because they didn't agree with his comment. Nothing personal.
Zora55 2
He just wanted you to check him for fanunda cheese. Atleast he didn't have morning wood, talk about having to turn a blind eye. :-)
professorxfm 7
Is he cute? If he is, why complain?
unicornunit 0
Ha! Classic!
zoe768532 1
Dude it funny!
phantumgrey 6
It is funny
Okayitwasme 0
Ya, gross but funny. Looks like the prank war begins!