Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
123roomielover
United States
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Hyde Park, United States
Rude awakening
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
D:
Paris, France
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
meh beard
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Bowmanville, Canada
I'm awake
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Secretlypossessed
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Frederik
You absolure freak
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
gold3nshow3r
Roanoke, United States
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Homeless for the holidays
Farmington, United States
Pyrotechnics
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
keimA
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Top comments
mmyoung979 14
Jesus Christ, that's scary.
ItsMeDiegoG 8
At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.
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Comments (123)
Ihavegas 22
it burrrrrnnnnssss aaaaarrrrgghhh
FallenAngelsRiz 10
you should get some pea soup and dump it on the roommate when they sleep. MUAH ha ha
0ss 12
Pea's be with you.
ksks1234 33
I had a suite mate that was an over the top Baptist. My friend's mom sent me some Wicca books, my suite mate saw them and was convinced I was a witch. I just started lighting candles, spouting some random Latin phrases, and would just stare at her. She was convinced I was making her ill and making her hair fall out. She soon switched to a completely different dorm. The point to my somewhat lengthy story, start doing stuff like this and maybe your roommate will also move.
gracehi 31
You sound more like OP's roommate than OP to me. I imagine that living with a devoutly religious person might be annoying to someone who isn't, but did your roommate actually do anything to you personally to justify you deliberately scaring the crap out of them and throwing another religion in their face?
ksks1234 33
Yeah she did. I am agnostic, so I don't push my "beliefs" on anyone. My friend's mom sent me the books because she knew I thought they would be interesting. My suite mate would invite others over to, essentially, judge me and "pray for my soul". She would constantly berate me and tell me I was doomed to hell. She, among other "Christians", is the reason I could never follow organized religion. The most judgmental people I have met have always claimed to be Christian.
gracehi 31
So you stooped to her level. Nice.
Dinoporeon 9
Stay away from people that try to indoctrinate you into their religion. So yeah, find a new roommate.
mrz1177 11
Did she succeed?
JMichael 25
The power of Christ compels you to go back to sleep and ignore it.
sdroze1389 31
Lol while your room mate is asleep put on black robes, make a salt pentagram with candles in his or her room, and wake em up with death metal. say you were trying to convert them to the church of Satan
Midnightpearls 13
You stole my ******* post from the mod section. **** you.
darcislove 18
take em to a lake and baptize em there
hasabo 12
Could have been worse