Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
How could you?
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Boundaries
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Fundies say the darndest things
Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Top comments
asoep 4
run, run far away
Trivision 10
Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?
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Comments (190)
iwasborn_naked 14
yeeah might wanna get that one sorted out.. get someone to come check out the house and do a blessing on it.. kids pick up on spirits and energy so much easier then us..
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
We need to talk about Steve.
iwasborn_naked 14
also therapy wont do shit if its anything other worldy. don't waste your money just yet!
luminis12 23
Sounds like something out of a horror movie
WickedBooger 6
scary five year old you got
suri23 11
Redrum
joopjoop 19
you should take him to a counselor... this could become a real problem. not even kidding my aunt adopted a boy whose mom did a bunch of drugs when she was pregnant which gave him mental problems, and this same thing happened to her, except she woke up because she couldn't breathe and he was actually pushing the pillow onto her face trying to kill her. who knows what the voices will tell him to do next? be careful op
hplover7 11
My best friends little brother has an imaginary friend named Bumblebee who is demented and also thinks like this. I wish you the best of luck OP and I understand
ulissey_fml 22
He's five, and he has already come across a scene like this on the net or on TV or in a DVD ? Noooot right. I suggest you: -switch off whatever he watches alone OR watch and play with him -find more activities for him that imply real people: an art club, a pic- nic, a ride in the park, seeing his grandparents, shopping with you, an pool party with his classmates, ( in my country 5 year-olds all go to school), a sleepover...wait, maybe not that one.
bo501 4
Is Steve really imaginary? Or is there something paranormal going on? Personally my next phone call would be to a physic or your local ghost hunters. Seriously!