Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging her, she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML
Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML
Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for changing my phone's password, like I thought she would try to access my phone without telling me. When I pointed out she could only know I changed it by trying to unlock it behind my back, she took the sandwich I'd just made and fed it to the dog. FML
Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML
Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML
Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML
Today, my wife, being very considerate, bought me a new phone for my birthday. That would be fine and dandy if cops didn't then enter my house and say I stole it. Turns out my wife paid $900 from MY credit card to the person who stole the phone. FML
Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML
Today, I was logging into my work computer. My account became locked due to the many failed attempts at typing my password. Thinking I was alone, I said, “Fuck this shit” while dragging the keyboard off my desk. Turns out my supervisor was in the other room. I'd forgotten I'd changed my password the other day. FML
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Top comments
its2lu 11
Well, have you?
Welshite 40
Whatever happened to couples who talk and get through difficult times together? Everyone is so sue and "dump him/her" happy. It's sad.
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Comments (132)
nickschlundt 3
this post kinda proves you wrong
chosha_fml 27
Don't talk to her until she tells you the password. She might be mad at you, but a childish punishment deserves a childish response. And a working person needs their phone.
edanielleh 21
I am saying your life sucks. Not because your wife doesn't have a point, but because this is how you handle a child, not a spouse. Instead of respecting his property as an adult, she has chosen to manipulate the situation
Psyk_fml 11
How is wanting to communicate with your SO childish? It seems more childish to me to avoid communicating with your SO on so basic a level, especially with something as blatantly disrespectful as playing on your phone.
Levvy 22
You may need to re-read the post you're replying to.
perdix 31
Give her the silent treatment until she unlocks your phone. When she caves in, tell her to be more interesting and compete for your attention, instead of just feeling entitled to it.
fwongraven 10
You kind of become entitled to someone's attention when you marry them...
Psyk_fml 11
OR. Pay her a bit of attention. It's clearly what she wants, and the sooner she gets what she wants the sooner OP's getting what he wants. You ever hear the saying "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar"? it's remarkable how many times in life it's applicable. He could spend the day wrecking his marriage further by refusing to communicate even when the apparent initial reason for lack of communication is absent, or he could spend a little while actually communicating, and voila, problems might actually get solved in a timely fashion. Usually when you marry someone, it's because you want to spend more time (eg. your entire life) with them, so when you spend more time with other pursuits, and avoiding spending time with them, that's something you need to talk out, not retaliate to.
TheBrochure 22
#47 - While that is an incredibly articulate and well-thought-out statement with which one would be silly not to agree, I do believe that Perdix was being 100% sarcastic, as usual. Reminds me of the Malicious Advice Mallard.
griffy14 9
Restore the phone, resync the phone to get ur contacts back and set up your own password so she can't mess with your phone again. Problem solved. She has no business getting on your phone and changing your settings without your permission, regardless how immature she is feeling that day when she wants to prank you instead of communicate.
Playitlovely 13
Or maybe he can sit down with her, and talk with her and she will ******* give him the number!!!
Psyk_fml 11
It's hardly immature to want to spend time with your SO, what IS immature is frequently ignoring or avoiding a person or social situation.
luckyone365 7
You women are pathetic. If roles were reversed, you would be singing a different tune. If my SO pulled thay bs, it would make me less inclined to talk to them. If you just talk to me like an adult, I'd listen. **** with my shit, you'll get a piece of my mind.
luckyone365 7
How mature is it to tamper with someone's property? Someone has some growing up to do and I don't think its OP.
luckyone365 7
Locking someone out of their own phone is way more immature.
itskaybytheway 10
Have you? if you haven't then you should have no problem getting that new password
FMLZane 4
How did you post this then
CptObvious98 8
Tell her to give you the password and then you'll have sex with her.
linkinpark98 24
Marriage doesn't have to focus solely around sex... Communication is just as important.
buckdharma 38
" Phone" is a bad name for it. It used to be a phone, now it's something else. Its primary use has been changed. A few short years ago, if someone had said, " I've been looking at my phone all day," you would've felt sad for them.
Levvy 22
I know. Let's come up with one. Hm... how about... "Smartphone". That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
d4m4s74 12
You could ask one of the Apple geniuses or one of the Android nerds on XDA to help you regain your password. But they'll probably too jealous about you having a wife to do anything useful.