Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML
clodius_fml tells us more.
Hi, OP here. I genuinely didn't think this would be published but here we go. Yes on that night I was extremely drunk and she was drinking heavily too, and I mean heavily. I didn't notice the huge bump because 1) I was shitfaced 2) She hid it extremely well. Anyway after talking to a few people it seems that this woman has been going around for the past 7 months sleeping with people and saying they are the dad. I have nothing wrong with people having sex when they aren't in a relationship but don't try and pin point your baby's dad on some bloke. It is wrong on so many levels.
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Top comments
linyah 11
boy..i feel sorry for the child she has if she got shit faced while with child..
thrifting 18
If she had been drinking heavily, I feel bad for that baby. Fetal alcohol syndrome is serious, not to mention she's probably been shitfaced every other time she's slept around and tried to pull that trick. :/
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Comments (287)
MJFehr 3
Plot twist; you're actually suffering from amnesia and it is your kid
Mackay92 14
you're going to be on Jeremy Kyle soon
fay32 16
Jerry Jerry!
Coeliacchic93 21
151 have you seen Jerry Springer the musical?
StompinOnCrayons 15
And the next time you grab a beer you will have a kid screaming "papi !"
amisenho 11
I'd take that as an insult. She was really hoping you'd be dumb enough to believe her. Then again, it was drunken sex.
Ghost308 11
Haha that's a special kind of desperate!!!
PunkCupcake 12
Why is it that when I read this it reminded me of My Name Is Earl?
Earths_Venus 25
Beer there, done that.
notsofriendly 17
Maybe she's right... you must have been pretty damn drunk to not have noticed her giant belly! xD
limitedition 25
I'd take this as a sign you need to drink less. That's a special level of hammered to not notice she was heavily pregnant
nandybear 19
How drunk were you to miss the giant baby bump?
clh3031 6
My guess would be one of the following, shitfaced, blackout, sloshed, three sheets to the wind.