Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 920

You deserved it 50 965

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Same thing different taste

Great idea

By aridaley - 21/05/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 534

You deserved it 64 991

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 2 042

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 483

You deserved it 19 813

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 462

By not a dumbass pothead - 08/04/2014 22:04 - United States - Sparks

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 799

You deserved it 46 695

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 032

You deserved it 5 237

New kink unlocked

By sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Spicy

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 161

You deserved it 8 430

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 296

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 21:56 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 202

You deserved it 39 700

Inked

By damnit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 937

You deserved it 64 674

Next

Top comments

mfinn 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:00

ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot

bwynin 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:02

Because a proff tattoo would be better?

Comments

koda446 4

Thursday 25 March 2010 5:34

wow that's funny now u r just a dumb **** lol

Popsiclese 0

Wednesday 5 May 2010 1:45

haha you said penis

MiGman 5

Wednesday 23 June 2010 9:38

penis tattoo FTW

Godless26 1

Sunday 10 October 2010 21:22

i call bullshit on all drunken tattoo stories, it only happens in movies, the truth of the matter is if there a quality tattoo artist who knows anything about safety, they wont tattoo a drunk person because your blood is too thin

bamam 0

Friday 21 January 2011 7:11

Idiot

Cierra657 0

Monday 14 March 2011 22:33

umm @56 they were clearly answering number 3s question. you look like a idiot.

saltypirate 0

Monday 21 March 2011 6:04

dumbass!

madeingeorgia 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 19:08

I would like to know what you would consider to be a professional tattoo of a penis...

taylove23 1

Friday 6 May 2011 3:47

haha! you're an idiot for getting a tattoo of a penis!

tittymagic 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 22:39

are you gay? that's what you think of when your drunk??

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I agree, your life sucks 61 007

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I agree, your life sucks 17 815

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I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 310

Today, my grandma was sent to the hospital so I called out of work. My bosses told me that if I didn't come in I would be fired. I did so, only to find out they needed me there so I could close the restaurant while they left early to go to a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 1 464