Health: Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while...

By poserpilot - 12/11/2012 15:10 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 516

You deserved it 6 651

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Same thing different taste

By mylifeisamovie - 28/02/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 58 776

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 933

You deserved it 3 126

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 938

You deserved it 2 004

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 324

You deserved it 15 609

WTH happened?

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 05:11 - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 371

You deserved it 42 540

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 300

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 507

You deserved it 2 167

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 846

You deserved it 4 302

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 767

You deserved it 8 738

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 20:23

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 379

You deserved it 7 754

loserboii 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:13

You sure someone isn't pulling your leg?

BatteryAddict 11

Monday 12 November 2012 19:14

Are you sure? You might've just misplaced it. Drunk people tend to do that.

Comments

ZombieKitteh 8

Friday 16 November 2012 9:30

I'll tell ya who stole that leg. That damn Sasquatch.

staceejaxx 6

Saturday 17 November 2012 16:56

Dude! Prosthetic leg?

Federgirl 19

Saturday 1 March 2014 18:59

I don't understand why someone would do that. that's so messed up! I'm sorry.

Clypsia 13

Saturday 27 December 2014 4:48

did you happen to see a genetically mutated raccoon anywhere near you?

lovinloki 9

Wednesday 4 February 2015 1:19

It was rocket raccoon and starlord!!

zarabsegin 16

Monday 13 April 2015 20:47

Excuse me, sir. I have a plan. I need your leg.

DarkCvengence 15

Saturday 9 May 2015 14:37

dude thats a lowlife peice of shit if you find him beat him with the leg

baka4815 21

Tuesday 23 June 2015 19:23

Rocket, give it back

mattzawesome 28

Sunday 11 October 2015 23:42

Every other FML " I went out for a night of drinking" YDI to hell, "I have a prosthetic leg" immediate FML.

LenUrban 14

Monday 8 August 2016 19:49

Some1 else woke up after a night out with a prosthetic leg

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The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 167

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 632

You deserved it 4 623

Today, it was so windy that when a man walking in front of me sneezed, all of his saliva blew onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 631

You deserved it 195

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 979

You deserved it 4 832

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 5 037

Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 141

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 711

You deserved it 2 908

Same thing different taste

WTH happened?

Very smart

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