Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, there's a moth in my house, who either does nothing, or flies around like it just ate enough sugar for one lifetime. Every time I see it, I think it's a wasp and, being deathly afraid of them, I go into a full-blown panic attack until the sight of it bumping into light bulbs brings me back to reality. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be "funny as hell" to watch me freak out. FML
Today, I finally slapped the shit out of the mosquito that had been buzzing around my room all night. I celebrated, turned off the light, and immediately began hearing another one. FML
Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML
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Top comments
LoganBurrito 6
MOTHer of god.
mhopper 13
Use a hammer next time
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Comments (86)
BryanThaMan 14
You-1 Moths-1. Here's your chance to comeback stop typing start smackin' xD
SkoomaKi 28
Deodorant, chlorine gas, water, blow torch, flame thrower, ice, towel, spatula, guns, cereal box, lasers, hand, finger, kick, crisp packet, a sock, a phone, a dead person, a shampoo bottle and tic tacs. Use one of them, and you will succeed.
ebdeadaccount 11
Or mothballs
Demonfish 14
never mess with a dude wielding a spatula, it'll only end in tears, your tears.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Kick him in the Moth-balls. Lol, unethical solutions! :D
Il_Maestro 6
I always keep a cereal box under my pillow, just in case I need to defend myself against an intruder.
unjustlychicken 10
I don't know about you but I usually stock up on dead people for situations like that.
Eiregal2 10
Okie dokie lets see if I have got this down. First,I stay Moth so it smells nice and will now sweat as I gas it.i then half down it but warn it up with a blow torch then give it extra with the flame thrower. I have made it to hot,so dump it in ice and wrap in a towel. It falls unconcious so I smack it with the spatula,fire a gun to wake it up,give it a tempory home in a cereal box,Lazar some windows into it,use my hand and fingers to tear door for it and kick a crispacket while doing so,just because I felt like it.
Eiregal2 10
I use a sock to make his bed,a phone to call a pizza cause i'm hungry,I show Moth nasty dead person.moth dies from shock.i bury him in a shampoo bottle. Then I eat a tic tac
BradTheBrony 19
That was ******* awful. The pain in my eyes is now UVAR NYNE THOWZEEEND.
ninjuh_wingman 29
What a troll moth.
loserman67 36
ZOMBIE MOTH! Be careful around this one. And could you clarify what you meant by "screamed up the house" please?
LaughinStock 16
14 I think what op means is umm.. DIE YOU ******* MOTH! Shit like that maybe.
Ugi 27
Why? What did the moth ever do to you?
THE_A_TEEN 28
They're annoying, fuzzy night butterflies. They deserve to die!
Ugi 27
I am aware of the general nature of a moth. What I don't understand is how the OP could consider it worth spending the night trashing the place for the sake of killing one. They are not, so far as I am aware, cutpurses, child abductors, venomous blood-suckers or carriers of the Black Death, so what's the probelm? PS. OP - next time try lighting a candle.
Ugi 27
*problem
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It killed my brother!
kickuwithmyfist 1
The only way to win is to burn the house down... I'll get the gasoline.
SliceOfCake 9
*OP's house in ashes* OP: Ha! Take that, moth! Moth: LOL *flutters away* OP: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
daboss81 0
drugs will do that to you
sleet7 4
Rematch.
CaptTeemo 10
Tag team moth chase
McNerdyNerd 8
Careful, Mothra will come back with 3 heads and a nasty attitude.