Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Dude, gross
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
We all do it. Don't we?
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Smells like victory
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Etiquette
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Yeet the feet
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Top comments
Badshah29 6
canibalism
jutyjaty 9
dude. new girl
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Comments (690)
milly_11 4
dont kiss her
lemonsquid 6
at least she wasn't picking her nose, then her ear, then her butt, then she puts her finger in her mouth then did that...
sabakunorebecca 0
If she picks at her skin at other times as well, it's possible she has dermatillomania—something that's not her fault at all. Look it up and see if that's the deal.
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
I guess she felt she needed a lil extra protein in her diet?
henrysun 3
ewwww...sounds terrible! So sorry 2 hear that
kawaiianime 5
oh lord baby jesus
mmcd88841 0
Goldmember!
wsquah 4
time for an upgrade
Leftieswillrule 3
don't be so judgmental, with proper hygiene and regular exercise, foot skin can be a very tasty, yet gamy, Jerky-like treat. don't judge until you've tried.
earljonez 22
Does Goldmember happen to be her faja?