Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my smart toilet analyzed my “data” and sent a health alert to my entire family group chat. With charts. FML
Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML
Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML
Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, I realized I have a weight problem. My brother excitedly showed me his new high-end scale and measured his weight, then our other brothers. I took one step on it and the screen read "E". It then shut off and hasn't turned on since. FML
Today, after I started to use a weight tracker to keep track of how much weight I lost since I started to diet due to my horrific cholesterol levels, I was happy that I lost three and a half pounds in three days. However, my online weight tracker then gave me a warning that I'm losing weight too quickly. That's a thing? FML
Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML
Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML
Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
That's not right. I hope the staff can fix that glitch, or make it optional to broadcast your weight.
GoogieWithers 25
At least you are trying. Everyone has off days, stalls or puts a little weight back on. Keep going. You got this!
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Comments (2)
GoogieWithers 25
At least you are trying. Everyone has off days, stalls or puts a little weight back on. Keep going. You got this!
DLBL 23
That's not right. I hope the staff can fix that glitch, or make it optional to broadcast your weight.